SPEAKER_00 0:00

Welcome everybody to this very special series that we're shooting here in Phoenix, Arizona at our event at Love Strategies. And I have a very special lady in my hotel room here. Her name is Macy. Sorry, Jessica, my wife. It's cool. Macy's cool, right?

SPEAKER_01 0:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 0:16

But we're here talking about our clients and this event. And we were having a conversation that I just want to get on video because Macy has literally spoken to how many potential clients, prospective clients, and existing clients? Maybe thousands? Literally thousands. And we really wanted to talk about why women get stuck when it comes to dating. And we think that Macy can really offer a lot of value and give you some perspectives based on her experience of working her love strategies and everything she does. Welcome to the Love Strategies Podcast, where we help successful women attract high-value men, date with a strategy, and improve their relationships. Now, whether you're single or dating or in a new relationship, we're here to help you dive into the male mind and provide raw insights found nowhere else, backed by science, psychology, and our own personal experiences. Please share with a friend and enjoy. Macy, anything you also want to share about your intro? Maybe a little bit of background on you?

SPEAKER_01 1:13

Well, I mean, I've been in the industry for almost 15 years now, coaching women on this topic and now with you, which is the greatest because I really believe in what you do and the way you approach this. So it's been really interesting to see these patterns with women.

SPEAKER_00 1:34

Absolutely. No, Macy is a rock star coach. She actually puts these events on for our clients as well. So you're also the event coordinator with us, which is so awesome. Um, so let's just jump into some of the areas that we're just discussing. I got my handy-dandy notepad because I want to give it to you all uh as we were discussing. First one that you mentioned is just a lot of women being stuck in limiting beliefs and having kind of generalizations about men and dating that might be holding them back. What what do you mean by that?

SPEAKER_01 2:03

Yeah. Well, I mean, one of the things that I hear and witness all the time is this idea that, you know, women are meeting men online or they're starting to date, and then there's all of a sudden this story in the head that's like, oh, this is the way all the men are. They have like one or two experiences that, yeah, maybe a pattern of, you know, who they're attracting and what they're attracted to that, you know, make that a conclusion for them. But it's a dangerous zone because it's never all of them.

SPEAKER_00 2:42

Right.

SPEAKER_01 2:43

It's never that way. And we were actually just talking about this in the room downstairs for the event, where, you know, how many people are doing that? And yet at the same time, if it was reversed and they had a man come up to them and say, Oh, all women are are so this way or unapproachable, or oh, you're that kind of woman. It's like nobody wants to be that woman or they they, you know, like it's not, you know, you want to be seen and adored and cherished for for who you are. And we forget that that's true for men too.

SPEAKER_00 3:23

Macy, I have literally sat across from a woman, you know, who's a brand new client, because our our long-term clients wouldn't likely say this, but they'll look me in the eyes and say, Adam, you don't understand all men are narcissists. And I'll look at them in the eye and say, Am I a narcissist? I happen to be a guy. I mean, last time I checked, I'm a guy. So I don't when in the multiple general generalizations outside of that, no men want commitment, Adam. I'm telling you. Right. Well, I mean, I happen to be wearing a wedding ring. So I just again, I we have one data point at least that says that that is factually untrue. Right.

SPEAKER_01 3:59

Right. I mean, I can I have to fess up because I did on my own journey to love, you know, I had to get my own support to finally meet my husband in my 40s. And that was the thing for me. It was like, oh, I guess all men are, you know, a lot of work was kind of my story. It was like, ugh, like they're just so much work. So then there was this like the exhaustion feeling. So I get where that can land as this is the way it is. But what I love about what you do too, and even the fact that you are in front of, you know, all of our women, whether they're clients or not, that you get to be that demonstration of a man who is not all those things, you know, and that you start like cutting through the noise of wait, you know, he's good looking, he's nice, he's successful.

SPEAKER_00 4:58

Well, you're just saying that because you're in my room right now.

SPEAKER_01 5:02

But I do think that that's interesting though, because a lot of the women say that, like learning from a man who is other than what they've experienced in dating is kind of one of those first steps that you start going, wait a second, maybe that's not true. What else is possible?

SPEAKER_00 5:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 5:20

You know, and you have to stretch into that.

SPEAKER_00 5:22

100%. And that's why all the men that work at Love Strategies need to show up as that high character man as well. I mean, it's not just me here at Love Strategies. We have Dr. Gary, we have Matthew, uh, we have other men as well. And I think it's just so important to just see evidence that maybe these stories we're telling ourselves about men are just stories that kind of protect us from having to go out there and actually try this stuff and actually go on those dates and those meetups. It's our way of just saying, you know what? I don't know. Why would I do that? Because all these guys are the worst. And it's like, is that story true? Right. What are we doing here?

SPEAKER_01 5:57

Well, I love that it cracks it a little bit enough to start seeing other things.

SPEAKER_00 6:01

100%. The other one that you brought up that I loved, I loved, I loved, I loved, which holds so many women back from making changes in their love life, is just this idea of waiting until they're ready, until they really finally feel. They get they wake up that one morning, they're like, I'm ready, world, ready to find love. So maybe we could talk a little bit about that.

SPEAKER_01 6:25

Yeah, I mean, the readiness piece is you know, construed a lot of times as like, I'm going to feel ready. I'm gonna feel ready and confident, and then I'm gonna start dating. Well, that's probably never gonna happen. Yeah. I mean, and readiness sometimes is like, oh, well, when I'm not so busy or when I'm this or that. But I always point to, okay, well, when you're in a relationship, you're still gonna be busy and you're not gonna, I'm not gonna say to my husband, Larry, I'm breaking up with you because now I'm planning an event. You know? Like I'm not gonna do that. But the readiness is just a choice. Like it just has to be a choice. Yeah, you know, you get to make yourself ready by just saying, you know what, this is important to me. I want that future, I want that life. You have to choose it. And when you choose it, then you can start, you know, baby stepping your way into a completely different life.

SPEAKER_00 7:24

100%. And what if in order to feel ready, you need to go and do a few things, which might be going on some dates, going exploring with some guys, trying some new strategies. Many times that is what actually gets you to that feeling of like, wow, actually, I do feel confident now. I do feel ready. But you'll never get there if you're just sitting there waiting for this like sudden burst of enlightenment. We're like, hello world, let's go.

SPEAKER_01 7:51

I'm finally ready to the field of daisies that you're running into, and then he's running towards you and he'll swoop you up. It's not gonna happen like that. Yeah. So, I mean, the the cool part is at Love Strategy is I like that we do actually honor that time before you start meeting men as a relationship readiness kind of phase so that you can step into, you know, growing into that confidence, that clarity in making those connections.

SPEAKER_00 8:17

Definitely. I think, you know, I'm I'm not a father yet. I hope to be at some point uh in the future. Um, but Dr. Gary talks about this a lot where he's like similar to parenting. Like a lot of people say, I want to feel ready to have kids. And his whole thing is because he has a daughter. You never actually feel ready. You know, you just like you're like, okay, I guess we're doing it. We're doing it. I'm figuring it out. I'm figuring it out. And with the child, it's like you kind of can't, it just sometimes happens. So for the parents out there, hopefully that might relate to you. It's like you may not have felt ready at the time, but you become ready once you're in it. And uh, I don't know, is that gonna scare the crap out of people if I relate that to dating with babies? Oh, I think most people can relate to that. Yeah, yeah. But it can be the most beautiful thing. And um, yeah, so many people will come out of a bad relationship and they'll wait five years to quote unquote heal. And look, I I will recognize there's certainly a time of grieving with the end of a relationship where you do need to focus on yourself, and maybe dating isn't you know, isn't the time for you, but that might be in months, a few months, maybe even in some cases a few weeks. But you got to get back out there and you gotta continue exploring and growing and learning from those experiences so that you can be ready again, you know.

SPEAKER_01 9:34

Yeah, I mean it's being when you're wanting to make a change, it's it's in some ways this learning, this growth is, you know, gonna register obviously as a change in your body and your life. It's I always think of like if you're on the edge or jumping off a high dive, or nobody's just gonna jump off a cliff. Nobody's gonna do that. Like, but if you're jumping off a cliff into a net, which I think love strategies is such a cool net, it's still scary to jump off the cliff. Let's just let's just note that it's gonna be you know, scary in moments because it's different. It's just a different sensation. So if you kind of get down to like, yeah, new things feel different and let yourself observe that, then, you know, is it moving you towards the life you want to have? Yes or no.

SPEAKER_00 10:27

If it is, great, let's do it. 100%. And that's that's why we call our process the seven little love steps. We got that word little in them because they are small yet powerful and intentional steps that you can start taking to get towards the future you want. And so the beautiful part, like Macy was alluding to earlier, is like the first little love step is all about you and building your confidence. And you can do that before you even go on a date, before you start meeting guys. There are things you can do today to get yourself to a place where, like, hello, world, let's go.

SPEAKER_01 10:59

You know, we see that all the time. It makes me so happy because I see people so like wound up, a little scared, maybe me tense, sort of used to showing up business-like, and then they start learning these things. And it's the light starts shining through, the playfulness starts coming out. I mean, especially with these weekends, I can't stop smiling because it's really fun to see the playfulness, the lightness, the ease that is allowed when you have a plan and you have support. Yeah, you get to have more fun being you.

SPEAKER_00 11:35

It's kind of funny. Like, we've been doing these events for a number of years now, but they all kind of go the same. It's like day one, everyone gets there. It's like a middle school dance. It's like you got the boys on one side, the girls on the other side. I mean, we don't have boys at this event, but everyone's kind of like checking everyone out, feeling everyone out. Then by day three, besties.

SPEAKER_01 11:57

Besties, schoolgirl, giddy, hee hee hee.

SPEAKER_00 12:00

Like all the things it's awesome. It's awesome, and I think that's something we didn't really talk about, but maybe we could end here, which is just the importance of having a supportive environment. Because so many people live in environments that are just maybe consciously or subconsciously killing your chances of finding love, whether it's the information people read on online, on Facebook, on YouTube, I mean, God help us, or it's their friend group or their family who are just chipping away at their confidence. I'm not sure if you've seen that, but I feel like a lot of what we do is reprogram those ideas. Like, get off of Facebook, get off of YouTube, like just be around an environment of other women who are following a process, who are being super intentional in their love life, and that's gonna be your foundation. That's gonna be the bottom of your pyramid, just supporting you throughout all this.

SPEAKER_01 12:54

Yeah, I think that's really important to say that because it is objective, it's neutral, it's proven. When our friends and family, I as much as they want to help, yeah, like it's oftentimes really negative.

SPEAKER_00 13:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 13:10

I mean, when I would talk to my friends when I was the dating phase, it was every single like horror story people could dig up. I don't know why that's a culture of it, but you know, on the inside, when you have a network of people are speaking the same language, talking about the little love steps, and you can't help but, you know, stay clear in your head.

SPEAKER_00 13:30

Definitely. So we've talked a lot about the love steps, the little love steps. And so for those who are listening who want to learn this process, we have a free training available for you that you can watch right now that gives you the inside scoop of how it is that we guide our clients from just getting started to a long-lasting, healthy relationship. There's seven steps. You can find that at thelovesteps.com. We'll leave a link in the description. Head on over there. If at the end of that training, it's a really cool training, it's like an interactive virtual training. I think you'll enjoy it. But if at the end of that training you're like, hey, I want to explore what executive love coaching is, how it could help me, go ahead, book a session with someone on our team. It might even be Macy. It could be Macy, it could be someone else uh on our team who's um caring, compassionate, is in your corner, wants to support you. They'll understand your story. What are those patterns that we're repeating? What's holding us back? Then we're gonna discuss your goals, where you want to go in your relationships, the man relationships you want. And we'll see whether or not our program can help you get there. If not, no pressure, all good. If so, we would love to welcome you with open arms. And uh, you know, maybe you'll be in an event with us sometime soon as well. We'll get to have a big hug and get to connect. So I appreciate you, Macy. That was super fun. And uh, if you enjoyed this, please leave a comment, subscribe, like all that stuff. Share it with a friend who needs to hear it. Macy, you're a rock star. Thanks.

SPEAKER_01 14:54

See you soon.