SPEAKER_00 0:00

You're a successful single woman. You're just gonna intimidate men because of all your success. That's what everyone has told you, probably through your life, as you've gotten more and more successful. But what if the same attributes that made you successful in your career are going to make you successful in your love life? And that's what we're gonna be talking about today. I have our head of client services here at Love Strategies, Matthew, and our goal is to talk about what are those attributes that make our most successful clients successful in love? And this is gonna be a fun one. Welcome to the Love Strategies Podcast, where we help successful women attract high-value men, date with a strategy, and improve their relationships. Now, whether you're single or in dating or in a new relationship, we're here to help you dive into the male mind and provide raw insights found nowhere else, backed by science, psychology, and our own personal experiences. Please share with a friend and enjoy. So, Matthew, first time on the pod. I'm excited. Thank you for having me. I'm excited too. Yeah. So, Matthew, uh, just a quick backstory. Um, you know, what were you doing before Love Strategies? How did you end up here? I think that would be fun for everyone to learn about.

SPEAKER_01 1:09

Yeah, no, it's uh it's been quite a journey. And my background has been in coaching. So I've been blessed enough to work for everyone from you know Tony Robbins to um vistage business coaching. And so what I've always loved is that kind of marriage of supporting businesses that support people. And what a better mission than this one.

SPEAKER_00 1:28

So that's how I ended up here. It's been fun. So we are not brothers. I know everyone thinks that we look for those who are just listening. Matthew and I have been uh everyone's saying that we look alike. That's true. It's true. Yeah, I mean, you're much handsomer than I am. And we're uh we're having a blast here at our event in Phoenix, Arizona with a select few of clients. And the interesting thing about this event is everyone here is extremely successful in life. Um, you know, this is a very high-tier event and it gives us an opportunity to connect with all of our clients. And I just wanted to kind of zone in on this one particular thing for those of you out there who are super successful. So we got talking. What would you say, Matthew, and your experience working with literally the thousands of clients we have, what are some of those key areas that they can leverage their successful impulses to be successful enough?

SPEAKER_01 2:17

Yeah, I love it. It's a great question. And I love, I always say, you know, success leaves clues. So it's not reinventing the wheel. And often for the women in our program, super successful in business or other areas of their life. And it's like, how do you apply that here? And most often it comes down to one of the big things is being open to the process and um having that growth mindset and being a learner. So this is an area where they are just saying, hey, I haven't gotten the results I want. You might have something that can help, and just being open to that process and and really um no judgment on their own and just saying, How can I, how can I apply what I need to?

SPEAKER_00 3:00

Yeah, I I totally agree. And I think it requ in order to be a learner in anything, you have to be able to take a step back and really um take inventory of what's happened in your life and how things have gone. And that can be very difficult to do, right? You gotta look in the mirror and say, holy crap, I gotta take ownership of some of the decisions I've made in my relationships. I am the common denominator in all my relationships. And I think our egos, mine certainly got in the way, our egos can get in the way of that and be like, no, it's not me. It's, you know, it's men, it's uh because I'm successful, it's because um physical attributes I don't have or whatever it is. But I think that's something that you and your team do really well is help people see through some of that and step into that learner mindset.

SPEAKER_01 3:47

So yeah, absolutely. And uh what we always like to remind people too is that's where the power is, because all of those external things you can't control. So what can you control? And it's yourself. And so that's what I love when they step into it. They've signed up because they know there's something that's not working. So if you want a different result, you want to do something different. And that's probably something they've taken from other areas of their life. So I think that's the first thing, you know, they've shown up. And then it's really just you're in a safe space to take that inventory and be vulnerable with yourself to say, what do I need? And um, how do I learn and how do I grow from that? And I think that's so empowering as well, because what we start to they start to see is, oh, I can do this to get that result. And there's a real freedom in that and power that um even if they don't see in the beginning, they start to realize that um that just has a big shift for them. And so I think that's that's really empowering to them. And then they start to see, oh, I can take these actions versus being a victim of circumstance or reactionary.

SPEAKER_00 4:55

So what you own, you control. If you own it fully, you can control it. Like as a side note, like for me, I'm gonna take a quick tangent on this, but like my whole life when it came to my health and fitness, I was always like, I was I was a heavyset person. Um, you look at pictures of me in college, like I was, you know, probably 40, 50 pounds heavier than I am today. But I always told myself, hey, I'm just big boned. That's just who I am. And so I wasn't taking ownership of it. And it wasn't until probably 10 to seven years ago where I'm like, no, I'm not gonna, I'm gonna stop that story in my mind and take ownership of this and realize that I'm not just big boned. I can do something about it. Maybe it's cutting calories. For me, it was cutting calories, going to the gym. And I think the same applies to dating, where people will have these stories they tell themselves where men are the problem. Uh, what are what are some things you hear? Not to put you on the spot, but like what are some things people you might hear from people when they first get started with us if they're not ready yet to step into that learner mindset?

SPEAKER_01 5:56

Yeah, that's a great point. I think to your point, it's usually something about can't find these men. There are no men. I'm too old, I'm too young. Like it could, whatever their thing is, it will be that.

SPEAKER_00 6:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 6:08

Um, you know, and it it tends to be or, you know, where I live, or there's um this has happened. I think the biggest thing that we realize and they start to realize is awareness. Because sometimes we have these patterns that we're playing out that we're not even aware of. So when they start to verbalize those stories and we ask them questions back around that, it starts to make that shift even for them to be conscious of what that story is. Because often we learn all of this just from watching people, whether it's good, bad, right, or wrong, you know, um, and don't even realize that we've now adopted this and carry out that story in our actions.

SPEAKER_00 6:50

That's so true. And I just not to belabor this point, but I think a lot of women in particular, men have this too, but especially with women in their friend group, there's kind of a culture of women uh supporting their friends in a way that can be sometimes toxic, where your friends might tell you it's all men, it's the problem, it's the dating apps, you're perfect, you're perfect. And I think one thing that we do well is we we we know we it's a difficult line to to cross, but like yes, you are amazing, you have so much to offer, and we also have to take a look at some of these beliefs that perhaps your friends are giving you where online dating sucks or men are the worst. Well, maybe those things aren't necessarily true. Maybe men are incredible, there are incredible guys out there. Maybe online dating can be an amazing tool, we just don't know how to use it yet. And so I think your team just does that so well, whether it's accountability coaches, executive love coaches, to just kind of put them in the in the driver's seat. Because if it's all men at the end of the day, I don't know, I guess be celibate, you know, go be a nun. Yeah, if that's true.

SPEAKER_01 7:59

No, it's true. I mean, we and sometimes when people will join us, you know, that's what they'll share. Either their friends are married, their friends are this, they don't want to tell their friends necessarily because they're worried about whatever their perception is going to be. Or the flip side, my friends always say this I don't need any support, any any help, any any guidance. Um, but all those friends are coming from their worldview, right? And so I do think that is a really powerful part of our program as well, is not only are they learning from themselves, but we have that whole community of other women who are also doing that. So all of a sudden, they're not hiding something from their peer group or, you know, having any kind of um, oh, I don't can't tell my family this for whatever reason. They have all those other women who are in that same mindset and that they could learn from and grow from on that journey.

SPEAKER_00 8:51

Yeah, I that's what I love so much about this is you know, like Jim Rohn, a famous motivational speaker, has this quote you're the average of the five people you spend the most time with. And I love that so much. I've I've that quote is like resonated with me more than any quote probably in my life. And I see it so much with our clients here because they hear from other clients when they start spewing some of these ideas, like, oh, it's all men, men are the problem. The clients will jump in and be like, no, sister, no, no, no, no, no. We got to actually take a hard look at that and start breaking through some of those beliefs. And that's what starts chipping away at that. Because honestly, I can say that all day as a coach, you can say that all day, but when they hear it from peers, that's where it really starts to land. So I feel like we've we've we've gotten this point across, we've probably belabored it enough. But you had a second one, because I asked Matthew, you know, he he runs the entire client uh division, all the all the coaches, everything. I said, What makes a successful woman successful in love? The second one you mentioned is stretching their comfort zone and being a little bit vulnerable. Maybe you could share a little bit more about that.

SPEAKER_01 9:53

Yeah. Um I mean, often, right? Vulnerability is is such a powerful thing, and yet often the hardest thing for people to do, you know, even as a society. Um, and so when women will step into this program and kind of let that guard down and be vulnerable, it really then starts to help them to to maybe learn about their blind spots or or see different perspectives on things. And, you know, sometimes people will come into the program too and say, you know, well, I know some of this information, you know, and and I always congratulate them. Like awesome, you have done some work already. That's powerful. And but my follow-up is always, and how is that going for you? You know, how are you then implementing that into your life? Or when you hear that content, you know, do you have any energy around that? Because often we know things intellectually, um, and yet we may not be living them. Or, you know, I always say as well, I mean, as a just a side example, it's like about losing weight. Like people know how to lose weight, like eat less, move more. And yet there are many reasons why that might not be happening, you know. And so it's um, I mean, it's but it's similar, same concept is uh is at play. So when somebody is gives themselves that freedom as well, because that's the one thing I think, or one of the things that can be challenging is sometimes we feel, especially many of our women are most are super successful. So there's a vulnerability in saying, I don't know. Right. And when you do that though, it opens up possibilities because the blinders come off, and then you have much more possibility than the narrow road of either I know or I can't allow myself to be open to that space.

SPEAKER_00 11:38

That's so true. I mean, when you are successful in other areas of your life, your career, health, you name it, um, it can really stretch your comfort zone to be like, you know what? What I've done hasn't worked. Uh, I gotta try something new. I'm gonna just submit myself to this process. That's hard because it feels like you're taking a step back in your life. But when you actually do it and you have the right support system, uh, that's where the real change starts to occur. And I I love how your team does that with everybody. You know, they we bring them in, we're nurturing, we're kind, but we're also very direct. And I really appreciate that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 12:16

No, absolutely. And I we always say to everybody, you know, how do you feel when you come in? And you get every answer, you know, I'm excited, I'm nervous, apprehensive, you know. And I always say, that's exactly what you should feel because it's a process. When we're growing, we're stretching to the edge of our comfort zone. But that means you are growing. And so uh that's a great thing. And often there's a fine line between fear and excitement. So I just, you know, you're in a safe space um to do this. So if you have any fears around dating or what I should do or what I shouldn't do, it's like what a better space to kind of learn in is a safe environment. So then you have the tools and the confidence to then step out into that and start practicing. I love it.

SPEAKER_00 13:04

Matthew, this guy, it's the real deal here. And since we talk so much about what it is we do around here, I mean, all we do is help successful women get out there and attract long-lasting love and do it with this strategy. We give you the support system, the clarity, the confidence, the courage to go make it happen. So for those who are listening in are like, hey, I feel like I need this right now. I need to step into that zone. I'm ready, I'm open, I'm a learner. Just give me the tools. Let's go. Then just head on over to loveapply.com. We'll leave a link in the description. You can jump on what we call a love strategy session where you speak with someone on our team. It's completely free, but it gives you an opportunity to really take a look at some of those patterns in your life. Why is it that we're attracting the wrong types of people, the wrong types of relationships? Then we'll discuss where is it that we want to go? What type of relationship do we want? What type of man do we want to attract? And if we can help you bridge that gap, help you get from where you are right now to where you want to be with our coaching, we would love to welcome you to Love Strategy. So hopefully you got a lot out of this with this behind the scene work. If you all enjoy it, leave a comment, give it a like. And Matthew, man, it's been such a pleasure. Thank you so much for your time. That was fun.

SPEAKER_01 14:12

Thank you. Thank you very much. All right.