SPEAKER_00 0:00

Pay attention to your nonverbals. The way you communicate, carry yourself nonverbally conveys a ton of information. And in a dating context, we worry so much about how we're going to say things and not as much about how we're going to act. How you act is important. And so if you start paying attention to mirroring, you're going to focus more on the information you're conveying. Are you showing interest in how you're showing interest? And you're also going to be better at picking up on interest from guys who uh want to talk to you.

SPEAKER_01 0:29

Welcome to the Love Strategies Podcast, where we help successful women attract high-value men, date with a strategy, and improve their relationships. Now, whether you're single or dating or in a new relationship, we're here to help you dive into the male mind and provide raw insights found nowhere else, backed by science, psychology, and our own personal experiences. Your hosts today are myself, Adam Rodolce, professional dating coach and founder of Love Strategies, and Dr. Gary Lewandowski, a relationship scientist, professor, and our head relationship coach here at Love Strategies. Please share with a friend and enjoy. Gary, let's start today's podcast going into a little bit of a time machine. I want to go back about 20 years ago, and you can meet the Adam of 20 years ago. And the thing is, I used to be terrified at the idea of going up and meeting a woman. Like I'm telling you, just like put me in a bathtub full of spiders. I'd rather do that than meet women. Okay. But I went through this kind of transformational time in my life where I really started overcoming those fears. And I started being more comfortable actually going up and just talking to someone. But then I had a new challenge. Okay. And the challenge is that I happen to be a very high-energy person. So I would come up to a woman and be like, hey, what's going on? And bring so much like that's just you know me. That's my style of conversation. And what I found is that this broke a lot of rapport. Like, I remember in my like, I can think back to a few moments where a woman would be like, Whoa, dude, you're a lot of energy. Like, can you like bring it down a few notches? It took me really a whole year to start learning this concept we're going to be talking about today, that I think is going to be really helpful for all of you women, which is the idea of matching and mirroring someone's energy in order to just get someone to like you and build a little bit more rapport. Because if if, like in my case, if I'm just going around and be like, hey, so excited to meet you. Oh my God, I'm Adam. And she's maybe a little bit more introverted, or maybe she's in not in the right mood, there is no way I'm building a connection in that situation. What do you think, Gary?

SPEAKER_00 2:40

I I gotta tell you, I'm really enjoying the time machine visual of overexcited Adam just springing himself, unleashing himself, coming in hot on these women and just scaring the crap.

SPEAKER_01 2:52

Like and like in like not a creepy scary, just in like a oh my god, dude. Like, what do you who who are you? Like, what is that?

SPEAKER_00 3:01

I'm just trying to drink a coffee, like dial it down, pal.

SPEAKER_01 3:05

Yeah, dude. It's just you were sitting at a Starbucks 9 a.m. on a Tuesday. Like, can you like chill out a little bit?

SPEAKER_00 3:12

Well, I mean, what I like about this is so often when people think about meeting somebody else, they focus on the goal. And the goal is to try to get them to like you, right? And so if we're thinking like, how am I gonna get this person to like me or at least be interested in me? People will almost invariably focus on what do I need to say? What are the magic words? What's the right combination? And yeah, I mean, there are you there are things you want to say, right? But it's like this, what we're talking about today, this magic of mirroring is all about the nonverbal, right? Um and there's this makes it a lot easier because you then don't have to like memorize anything. It's just like a a way of carrying yourself. And so the magic of mirroring, the mirroring effect, also known as the chameleon effect, it's when one person subconsciously mimics the other, either in how they're holding themselves, like their body positioning, gesturing, speech patterns, and tonality. Um, you know, in your case, energy levels, right? It's like you're coming in, like, yeah, and the other is like, hi, right? It's like you want to match the same level of energy. Um, and and that's mirroring. Um, we know that this builds rapport. This makes us feel more comfortable with the other person. When it's done well, it's super subtle, and the other person has no idea that it's happening, they just feel more comfortable. Um it's hardwired into us, right? Babies do this automatically, right? So you have a little baby and they're doing things, and you start like, you know, you touch your hand to your mouth, and then the baby will do that. Like your expressions and smiles, like babies just naturally mimic because that's how they're picking up social cues. Um, and this whole idea of mirroring, it's also you know, ever see that phenomenon where couples who have been together start like mimicking each other, like they're like their mannerisms and stuff.

SPEAKER_01 5:00

Yeah, like actually, I have I um Jessica's best friend, she's getting married, and I'm actually officiating the wedding, which is exciting. My first time officiating a wedding, but uh her husband, her soon-to-be husband is he's hilarious. I love this guy, but he's like kind of a grump sometimes. Like he's like he goes like this, like I don't know, I don't know if we're gonna do this today. And he's kind of joking when he does it. But I've noticed and we hung out with him this weekend. She's starting to do that now, too. She's we are, I was like, hey, Amanda, we're like, let's I'm name-dropping her now. Amanda, we're gonna go do this thing this weekend. She's like, I don't know. I don't know. I'm like, what is this? Like, I've known her for like eight years. What what is this whole little grumpy thing you're doing? Don't don't be like Chris, all right?

SPEAKER_00 5:48

Right, yeah, and it's like it's things that people don't even realize they're doing, and like what I'm gonna just share with you, I'm really not proud of. I can't believe I'm that guy and it and like I'm now part of that couple. But like my wife and I went over friends yesterday just to kind of hang out, and she got ready before I did. I didn't even see her necessarily before I came downstairs, and I come downstairs and we're literally wearing the exact same outfit. Like, not exactly because it's not like it wasn't like I was wearing a romper and she was wearing a romper too. It wasn't that. No, no, I know where you're going with that. That's not what I mean. But it was like same color blue t-shirt, brown shorts. I had car, I had the dad cargo shorts on, my wife didn't have that, but it was like, and then we I didn't even we and the thing is neither of us realized it until we got to our friend's house, and the guy's like, what are we dressing like now?

SPEAKER_01 6:40

Snatching, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 6:41

Yep, like oh, ooh, awkward. But it's like that's mirroring in action without neither of us realize, neither of it no no one noticed, and it's just because you start just taking your cues off of other people. Now, research shows when people mirror us, we like them more, right? And specifically, men rated women who mimic them more positively, and so that's where this becomes a dating strategy, a dating tactic, where you want to show the right guy that you like him to kind of like lay out the welcome at to make it him more likely to approach, ask you out, talk to you. This mirroring effect is something you can use to your advantage. And it's and that's an important caveat is that we're not saying do this with everybody, anybody. We're not saying, you know, shotgun approach, like it's not it's this is something to implement once you know you like somebody and you kind of want to send the signals like I'm into you, like here, come come talk to me. It is, you know, so you want to use this like judiciously and specifically.

SPEAKER_01 7:42

Yeah, and it's just it's a great way to connect with another person, you know, it's really much more about instead of it thinking about like I want to make a guy like you, which is probably gonna be the headline of this because it's more clickbaity and that's what people want, but really it's more how to make a guy want to connect with you, how to or how to build a deeper connection with another person. Because it have you ever seen people who are having a deep conversation in a corner? You don't have one person who's like, oh my god, blah, blah, blah. And the other person's just kind of like cowering and like nodding. That doesn't happen. It's usually they are sitting side by side, they're speaking at the same kind of pace, at the same tonality, they are nodding with one another in the same way, and they're just almost on the same level, like energy fields. Energy, and I'm not a big woo-woo guy, but this is the best way to describe it. All of these things encompassed are really just being on the same kind of energy level as another person. And then you'll see other moments where you're connecting with someone and you're both laughing hysterically, and you're super high energy, and you're just on that kind of wavelength with one another. Um, that and it's just so much about feeling connected to another person when you are just kind of matching and mirroring one another.

SPEAKER_00 8:53

Yeah, and it's like you're saying, like people, the highs and the lows of those two people, they're mimicking each other, like they're following each other, you know, in parallel. It's not one high, one low, right? Yeah, they're they're going together in tandem. And I really like that you use the word connection because the research shows that when you mirror somebody, it builds a sense of empathy, right? It shows that you care about them. And so what's empathy really? It's about understanding another person and building a connection. It turns out too that the research shows people who have more empathy tend to mirror other people more, right? And if if you were, you know, in a counseling program and we're learning how to be a counselor, mirroring is part of what you do to kind of show that you're connecting with your client. Now, you know, some of this I and I I'm always a little bit leery of like tactics like this, because it like my scientific side wants to be like, wait, this sounds like too simple to work. Like, what the hell? Like this, it sounds like scheme scammy a little bit. Um but then like what I do in the preparing for these clients is I dive into the research just kind of like like what's going on here. And so the idea behind mirroring and like why it works is some classic social psychological phenomenon. Um, in many ways, going back to evolutionary psychology, where it's like if we're mirroring somebody, it shows a level of familiarity and similarity, right? And that's if you want to talk about two things that are cla like classic, classic, classic things that show that build attraction, it's familiarity. Like you're somebody I know, you're cool, we're very much the same, good. Like those things are bedrock things for for building attraction. Now, the evolutionary side of this is to the extent I'm more familiar with you, to the extent you're more similar, you feel more safe.

SPEAKER_01 10:37

Yeah, right.

SPEAKER_00 10:37

And people who are safe are not threats. And so we want to bond with people, we want to build, like you said, a connection with people who are safe. And so it's you know, it's a subtle effect, right? People don't really know that, but it's you think about like, oh, this person's like me, they're cool. Like that's what you're thinking, but it's like really, it's like I'm safe with them, I can be myself around them, they're not gonna hurt me, right? And so that's you want to talk about you know, building connection and building attraction, really, really foundational stuff.

SPEAKER_01 11:07

Yeah. Hey there, ladies. As you can see, we're just getting this podcast off the ground. And since we don't run any ads, I only have one quick favor to ask in return. Can you just take a quick second right now? Pause this episode and just leave us a review wherever it is that you're listening to the podcast. Really help us out a lot and it really does spread the love. And uh, I think the world needs a little bit more of that. So I appreciate you. Now let's get back to the show. I think sometimes it's helpful when teaching concepts like this to look at the opposite effect as well, in the sense that yeah, matching and mirroring is a great, great way to build intimacy and connection. Think about the opposite when you are speaking with, let's say, an authority figure and you're like, Yes, officer, uh, you so you're like, let's say you get pulled over, okay? And I get pulled over quite often. I ride Harley's and I'm an idiot. So I'll get pulled over. I'm like, uh, I'm so sorry, officer. And he comes up and says, License and registration now, sir. And they do that for a reason because they want to break rapport, they don't want to build rapport. He's not gonna be like, Oh, yeah, hi, hi, sir. Um, yeah, you were you were actually speeding, like trying to match my voice. No, license and registration now. It's because he's going to maintain authority over you. And so there's a many, many examples of that with actually people try to break rapport for sometimes good reasons. Maybe it's a boss with an employee in certain moments. Um, where I would still argue that's probably not the right approach in most circumstances, but even still, people will use that as a method of doing that. I think a lot of women in particular may do this without recognizing it on a first date. They're almost using a power play to like break rapport as the authority on the date, as like kind of the chooser, you know, not the chaser. A lot of stuff we teach, but they do it in a way that is actually breaking rapport, and that's not a healthy way of going on a first date. You want to actually kind of match and mirror each other's energy to build that connection.

SPEAKER_00 13:07

Yeah. And so, you know, a lot of what we talk about um are just like these philosophical like mindset kinds of things. But you know, when it comes to mirroring, there's some really practical things that people can do to implement this in their in their dating life. And so we're gonna talk about three key ways to use mirroring. Now, these are gonna go from more subtle to less subtle as we go. But the first one, which is very subtle, is just kind of mimicking body language. Now, body language is one of the most information-rich sources that we have. Like you can pick up a ton from a person's body language. So when you hear people talk about like, oh, I have a gut feeling about them, their vibe, their energy, like they're using all these kind of words, but it's really like they're they're picking up on all that stuff just from mannerisms and body language. It's really not as much from what that person's saying. And so, you know, one way to do mirroring is you know, like, what are they doing with their hands? Like, are they sitting like this? Or, you know, it's like anything they're doing with gestures, are they gesturing a lot? Are they not at all? Are they are they talking with their hands? If they're talking with their hands, you talk with your hands. Um, it can be something, you know, if you're out at a bar, like how are they holding their drink? You hold you hold your drink the same way. How are they holding their phone? You kind of mimic that as well. It could be how they're standing or sitting, arms crossed, legs crossed, leaning forward, leaning back. Um, are they relaxed? Are they uptight? Are they attentive? Are they interested? Are they joking around? Are they being funny, right? Um, and some of that stuff that the joke around being funny starts going into speech, right? So, do you have any examples of of how to mimic speech, Adam? Uh well, I mean, as far as like tempo of speech and yeah, anything, yeah. It's like, you know, anything in just kind of the conversation, like so, you know, if body language is really more subtle, the the speech part is a little, you know, more noticeable, I think.

SPEAKER_01 14:54

Yeah, I mean, definitely tempo of speech. If someone's speaking really fast and they're talking, typically I'll talk a lot faster. Uh, whereas I I used to work with a lot of introverted people who tend to speak a lot slower. And so when I was building rapport with clients, I would speak a lot slower, speak a lot softer when I'm speaking with someone who tends to speak a little bit softer, because I know that if I come in hot, like my normal self, immediately we're going to break rapport and they're gonna be like, whoo, our vibe is a little bit off. So speech patterns are very, very important, and as well as just volume of your voice.

SPEAKER_00 15:29

Yeah, and I think some of the speech patterns too, it's some of it is sense of humor, right? If the other person is joking around, and assuming you have a good sense of humor too, like you should joke around too, not just let them do all the joking around. You're just like the person that's there to laugh at it, right? Like, so you want to match on that, you know, in terms of are they being is this a serious conversation? Then you don't want to be joking around, right? Yeah, is your tone carefree and funny or is it not? Um, cursing is a is a big one, right? Like, you don't want to be the person in interaction, like the other person doesn't use any curse words and you should start sounding like a trucker or a sailboat captain. Like that that's not the way to approach it. But if they're like dropping little things and you're comfortable doing that, then you should mimic that to kind of show like I'm comfortable with the occasional F-bomb, like that that's totally fine. Because again, matching and mirroring it it builds that rapport. Um, of course, the other big one that we didn't mention because we have a whole other podcast on this is eye contact. So we're not gonna get into all that because we have a whole separate podcast just on eye contact and how to do all that. So, but that's a big one too, like how much you're looking at them versus away and things like that.

SPEAKER_01 16:34

Yeah, just just getting a feel for where they are and where they want to go conversationally is very important, and just being generally aware of that. Like, I can think of just in particular, one moment not too long ago when Jess was trying to kind of like open up about something to me, like just having more of an intimate conversation. And I was in kind of a goofy like mood, and I made a joke, you know. I'm just like, she's like opening up about something, and I'm like, I made probably made some stupid dad joke that was not appropriate for the moment, and it's like instant rapport killing, me showing I'm not on the same wavelength. And I made a critical lack of matching mirror, I wasn't matching and mirroring her energy and understanding kind of where she's at. Now, the argument might be that hey, maybe she should match my my energy the same token. And it's like, well, in that case, I'm gonna match her. Like I should be matching her. Um, but if if ultimately the goal is to create a connection with a person, the best thing to be always doing is in be thinking about where's the other person and meeting them where they're at. Um, if you want to build that connection and you want to get someone to really like you.

SPEAKER_00 17:40

Yeah, and I think I your example right there is fantastic because you know, you're you've been together for a long time, you're in a long-term relationship. So, like that failure to mirror your relationship's gonna weather that no problem. And you probably will have joked about it afterwards, and it's everything's all fine. But if you had just met and that's on like the first meetup, first date or two, and she's trying to open up and you like get goofy and say, like it could ruin the whole thing, yeah. Right, and it doesn't seem like that big of a deal, but it it really is.

SPEAKER_01 18:13

And I think this actually goes back to your original point, which is it's not about trying to get everyone to like you. And sometimes you might go on a date with someone where you just can't quite match and mirror each other, and that might just be a sign that it's not a good fit, right? Like I've gone on some dates with some women in the past where we just weren't on the same wavelength, like the the places that she wanted to go, I didn't really want to go. The places I wanted to go, she didn't really want to go, we just weren't on the same wavelength. And it may not even have been conversational topics, just the way we're speaking with each other. And have you ever gone on a date with someone? You both kind of just never talk to each other again. That's that's kind of what happens. You just weren't matching and mirroring each other's energy.

SPEAKER_00 18:53

Yeah, that you know, so we we talked about body language, you talked about speech patterns. The third way, and it's really important you bring that up because you know, this third one is matching in terms of attitude and opinions. Now, attitudes and opinions, this is the least subtle one, right? Because you're just gonna come right out and say certain things we're gonna get to in a second. But the important caveat with what we're about to share is you have to match and mirror when it comes to attitudes and opinions authentically. You have to be genuine. This is not a fake it till you make it situation. This is if you believe X, you have to say X. It's it's you're only gonna match and mirror on the things you agree on. Don't make stuff up, right? Don't try, you know, if you start being too manipulative about this, it's a problem, right? You shouldn't be in manipulative. We're not saying play games, we're not saying being manipulative at all. It's like find the genuine areas of matching and mirroring and use that. And so what I mean by that is like, you know, one way to match in terms of attitude and opinion is conversationally to agree with what they say, right? Assuming you really do agree. Now it's it's like saying things like, you know, they say, Oh, I I the fall is my favorite season. Oh my gosh, you're so right. I love the fall too. Or, you know, I think blue is the best color. I'd always thought that too. I mean, obviously, these are dumb examples, but it's like saying you agree, saying you always thought the same thing when it's true, that shows that matching and mirroring, and that again builds rapport.

SPEAKER_01 20:16

Yeah. Oh my God, I always fall, you're so right. We're totally on the same page. I absolutely love fall. And honestly, the more controversial the opinion, the better. If you both agree with it, like the if you two can be kind of on your own island together and you're both just really connecting, it's kind of like us versus them. Like everyone else thinks one thing, and we both think that winter, like for example, winter, let's just say go on the same weather pattern here. Winter is absolutely the best time of year because you get to snuggle up, you get to just kind of be cozy inside with a fireplace. Oh my god, I always thought that too. Those summer people, they're idiots. Oh, who likes summertime? You know, now we're really starting to build some really, really good rapport. Again, the only caveat that you said is if you like summer, don't go around saying you like winter just to build that connection. Okay, that's that's inauthentic and that's not going to set you up for find the things that you can actually match and mirror on. And by the way, if you can't find anything by the end of a date, probably ain't a fit.

SPEAKER_00 21:18

Right. And you know, I what I like about this is it kind of sets you up and primes you to look for those areas of similarity. It sets you up to look for those areas of compatibility because we know long-term relationships are about compatibility. And so if you're constantly saying, Oh, that's so like me, I feel the same way, we have the same taste. Like, if you really authentically have the same taste, like you ask them, what's your favorite restaurant? It's this Thai place, and you love Thai. And it's like you really you want to emphasize, like, oh my gosh, I love the same thing. Like, I had this Thai place, fantastic. Now, when it comes to attitudes and opinions, there is one thing I I would just generally warn about when it comes to matching, and that's if the other person starts going negative, if they're They start complaining, whining, just generally being negative. And like the classic one when it comes to dating is like you get together, you meet up, and you like the other person starts just railing on don't you just hate online dating? Oh, yeah. Oh, I thought you were gonna say X's.

SPEAKER_01 22:16

I thought you were gonna say X's, but online dating as well. It's either online dating or exes, so you're gonna go with either one, but oh, isn't online dating the worst? Yeah. Oh, and then you feel like you're connecting, but you're connecting on this really negative energy field. And the thing is, men don't remember what you say, they remember how you make them feel. And even if you're connecting on something, if it's negative, he's gonna walk away from that. Even if he was the one being negative, he's going to walk away from that being like, hmm, you know what? I didn't feel a great connection there. Or I no, he might feel a great connection, but I didn't feel a good vibe there, or she's very negative, and um, so deflecting on those things is so important and just moving past those on the exes thing. If someone starts going down the path about their ex, it's so easy, like, oh yeah, I've been divorced twice as well. My ex-husband, and you just kind of get you just get into it. Um, I recommend pretty quickly if someone starts talking about their ex, you'd be like, you know what? Let's let the past be the past. Let's talk about it. Like, I don't know, what do you like to do for fun? Let's talk about something a little more fun and just deflect. Truly, you can do that and just move forward. Um, is is an important strategy because yeah, it can get so negative. How many times do we see that, Gary, where people just connect on this really negative plane, like energy plane, and uh it goes nowhere.

SPEAKER_00 23:42

Yeah, and I don't know if this is like a northeast thing or maybe a New Jersey thing, but like the number of people that connect based on complaining and whining and just like negative stuff, it again, it's it's like this superficial false connection because you know it's just overall is a negative feeling. And so people don't seek out negativity, we avoid negativity, and so you just don't want to base your relationship on those kinds of dynamics because it's not gonna lead to a good place, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 24:11

You know, it's definitely a Boston thing, that's for sure. I mean, us Bostonians, oh my god, do we love to complain about everything? Everything is absolutely the worst, and um oh god.

SPEAKER_00 24:24

Complaining and worrying, worrying is another one. It's like I'm worried about this, oh yeah, but I'm worried about this, and it's like this like weird arms race of who's gonna worry more about things that aren't worth worrying about. And so you can have really long conversations about that, which it's like you feel validated, right? And like that's a big part of things, but it's like that's not a conversation you're necessarily gonna want to return to on a regular basis with your romantic partner, and so avoid it's a trap, right? There's certain things that are trapped, that's a trap in conversation. Don't mirror negativity, even if it feels like you're validating them. You should just say, I'm a big fan of saying, like, can we just put a bookmark in that and like let's let's talk about something else? And like that way, it's kind of not saying, like, I don't ever, I don't want to never talk about this, I just don't want to talk about this right now, and so that way you're not feeling you know, the other person doesn't feel like, oh, they're closed off, they don't want to talk about this ever. It's just like no, like not right, particularly early in your relationship.

SPEAKER_01 25:16

And honestly, just going back to the really simple example that we had at the beginning, which is about the weather. If you find that he's complaining about winter and you both are complaining about winter and how it's just the worst ever, instead of continuing to lean into that, just lean into how much you love summer, right? It doesn't mean that he's necessarily a negative person or you're a negative person. It's just go to the bright side, bring it to the bright side of things, and now you're gonna connect on something more meaningful and beautiful. Again, this is a very stupid, silly like example that's simple for a reason, but I think it shows kind of the the black and white side here, which is don't lean into all that negative stuff, how cold and terrible it is, and oh, Boston's the worst in the winter. Talk about how amazing Boston is in the summer, and there you go. And now you're connecting on this really meaningful thing uh that you can both match and mirror on. I love it.

SPEAKER_00 26:05

Yeah, and having that mindset, you're gonna be happier anyway, right? Yeah, um, yeah, you know, one other thing, I just before we before we finish this off, um, you know, a lot of what we've been talking about today is like how you can mirror the other person to show that you're interested and to help build rapport. But the other side of this is if you know all everything we just said about mirroring for the last 20 minutes, it's like this is all things that you should start noticing in other people when you're talking to them. Like this should help you be more perceptive to figure out if other people are interested in you or like you. So pay attention. Pay attention to your guy. If is he mirroring you in terms of your body language, speech patterns, attitudes? And if he is, it's a good sign. And the research backs this up, right? If a guy is mirroring you, it suggests that he finds you attractive, right? And men are more likely to mirror when they're seeking a partner. So guys that are looking for a relationship partner are more likely to do mirroring and they're more likely to mirror you if they find you attractive. And so look for some of these signs because if he's interested, likely he's doing some mirroring and he probably doesn't even know it.

SPEAKER_01 27:09

Right. And if he's not interested, let's say you're talking to a guy who's married, but you don't know it yet, and you start you laughing and flirting and making eye contact and you touch him, and then he suddenly goes like this. If you're if you're just listening to this, he crosses his arms and looks at you and just starts talking and breaks rapport, he's not interested. And in that case, he's because he's married. He's trying, he's purposely trying to break rapport. Just like all of you women, if you have a guy who's creeping on you, he's being weird and creepy and getting too close. You are not going to match and mirror him. You are going to do exactly the opposite to give him that signal that you're not interested. So, all of this comes down to your body language and how it is that and your just general vibe when you're going out. And that really is the secret to building deeper connections and making someone really like you and want to spend more time with you.

SPEAKER_00 28:02

And and so, you know, to wrap this up, I think what the big message in all this is is pay attention to your nonverbals. The way you communicate, carry yourself nonverbally conveys a ton of information. And in a dating context, we worry so much about how we're gonna say things and not as much about how we're gonna act. How you act is important. And so if you start paying attention to mirroring, you're gonna focus more on the information you're conveying. Are you showing interest and how you're showing interest? And you're also gonna be better at picking up on interest from guys who uh want to talk to you.

SPEAKER_01 28:36

Gary, can I ask you a question? Sure. Do you do you think I'm starting to have more of a professorial vibe because we're doing this together? And I've do I do am I starting to speak more like a professor, just like you, in this matching and mirroring thing? Because I don't know. Am I becoming more astute being around you or or what? Am I just the same bows like that?

SPEAKER_00 28:55

I think I think you I I it's really funny you say that because I think you are, but I also feel like it's like this blending because I'm doing more of the smoking that you like that you like to smile and talking, and just like you're like upbeat, constant energy. It's like it definitely it definitely rubs off on me a little bit in a good way. You make me a better person, Adam.

SPEAKER_01 29:12

You make me a better person, Gary.

SPEAKER_00 29:14

Thank you, buddy.

SPEAKER_01 29:15

Oh, you're the best, you're the best. But really, it it, I mean, you even probably like I bet if you went back to our first couple episodes of this about a year ago, or I don't know, when did we start this? Nine months, eight months ago. Yeah, I bet our matching, our energy was probably very different, and you'll probably see now we're kind of blending energies just naturally, not even purposely, because we are kind of playing off each other and playing off each other's vibe, and that's what happens in relationships. You become the average of the person you marry, you become the average of your podcast host. That's just how humans are designed. So, um, hopefully, this gives you a lot to think about when you're getting out there and finding relationships. Um, because I think just it's so easy to get distracted by what do I say? What do I do? All that stuff. Focus on the energy and body language, and that's a huge part of it. So good stuff, man. All right. So now you've reached the end of the show. Please make sure you follow and subscribe to the Love Strategies podcast wherever it is that you're listening, so that you never feel alone again on your journey to love. As always, if you want to unlock all of our love strategies and begin your love life transformation, head on over to lovestrategies.com to get started. Stay beautiful and uh speak to you next week.