SPEAKER_02 0:00

Alright, welcome everybody to this very special podcast where we have two special guests. We have Hayden and Mike. And Hayden was and still is one of our clients who worked through the little love steps and met Mike. So do you want to quickly introduce yourselves, say hello to the audience? Welcome to the Love Strategies Podcast, where we help successful women attract high-value men, date with a strategy, and improve their relationships. Now, whether you're single or dating or in a new relationship, we're here to help you dive into the male mind and provide raw insights found nowhere else, backed by science, psychology, and our own personal experiences. Your hosts today are myself, Adam Lodolce, a professional dating coach and founder of Love Strategies, and Dr. Gary Lewandowski, a relationship scientist, professor, and our head relationship coach here at Love Strategies. Please share with a friend and enjoy. Hi, I'm Mike.

SPEAKER_00 0:55

Um and um nice to meet you all.

SPEAKER_01 0:58

I'm Hayden, and it's really good to see you both again. Good to see you for all the help.

SPEAKER_02 1:05

Good to see you as well. So the format of this series is really giving the audience just a little bit of an inside scoop as to your experience dating Hayden and what led you into the arms of Mike. So perhaps we could just take a step back and you could share with everyone a little bit about your experience of dating before you found Love Strategies and the Little Love Steps. Kind of what was it like getting out there again? What was it like for you?

SPEAKER_01 1:30

Well, um, I wasn't out there until I actually joined Love Steps. Right. So I have the Love Steps to Thank. Um I had been single since um 2006, um, really, really single since 2013. And I had really kind of devoted myself to being the mother to my children and getting them married, and um had kind of forgotten myself, um, forgotten to prioritize myself, forgotten that I was um someone that deserved love and someone that um, you know, deserved a relationship. And I all throughout that time was finding myself missing, being in a relationship. Um, but I had never really um again put myself first and I had never really kind of advertised um that I was, you know, single and and ready to to find love. Um and so I kind of had an epiphany in 2013, or I'm sorry, 2023. And um I just thought, what am I missing? And I'm missing being in a relationship, I'm missing being loved, I'm missing loving others. Um, and I really wanted to find someone for me. And so that kind of led me into the love strategies. And um it was uh scary at first, um, you know, leaning in, um, following all the love strategy steps and listening to the podcast and really taking time um to invest in myself, which I had really never done.

SPEAKER_03 3:08

Did you always find it hard, Hayden, to to kind of put yourself first? Was that a major roadblock?

SPEAKER_01 3:14

Absolutely. Absolutely. I um I was taught to serve others, and that's what I did. I was taught to be a mother, I was taught to raise my children, I was taught to um always serve others and be there for others and support others, but I really kind of forgotten myself and I lost myself, actually.

SPEAKER_03 3:36

And how has that changed?

SPEAKER_01 3:40

Oh gosh. I really have took a a huge leap um with faith, as we all refer to in the love strategies. Uh that was kind of a a term that was coined. And um I really had some trust issues, and I know I shared that, you know, in in several of the um um gatherings, not only in Boston, but in Phoenix. And um I think it was the second time that I came um to Boston and I left there. Um, and as you go through the process, you are learning so much about yourself and you're growing, and you're really not aware of it until all of a sudden you're doing it, and you're realizing, you know what? I am finding me like I've never found myself before. And I found myself finding confidence, I found myself putting myself out there, I found myself um being more flirty and talking. Um yeah, she was, you know, taking some big risks. And I knew I wasn't gonna necessarily find someone through my friends. My friends were all married, they're in relationships and they're in their 50s and 60s, and that's not gonna be where I'm gonna find someone. Um, but um going through the program, um, I found myself being happier, found myself being more playful. Um, I found myself taking more risks and going to more events um by myself, um, taking a girlfriend or just going, like I said, by myself. It took my sister to several, um, and still in that black tie event arena, still not finding anyone. So even though you put yourself out there in many ways, different shapes and forms by going to some local bars and sitting at the bar and having dinner by yourself and chatting people up, it takes the right time, place, person, um attitude. Um but yeah, suddenly I met this guy.

SPEAKER_02 6:00

Yeah, well, we're gonna get to that in a minute. I want to, I don't want to jump, I don't want to jump to that quite yet. Cause I mean, look, we've gotten to spend a lot of time together at events, Aiden. And one thing, I don't even take this the wrong way, but I'm gonna just say it because that's our relationship, I feel like. Yeah, you're kind of a tough cookie. Like when I first met you, I was like, whoo, this is gonna be a tough nut to crack. It was a very hard exterior, and I wasn't sure what was what was underneath. But obviously, as I got to know you, I was like, oh my God, there's this like sweet, caring, sensual, beautiful woman, not to say you weren't beautiful, but like there's this incredible human being on the inside. I'd be curious to hear from you what was your experience? And then and and I should end this with I saw you then starting to lead with that soft exterior. What was that like for you going through that kind of transformation? Because I saw my very own eyes every four months when I would see you, I'm like, this is a different person. It was incredible to watch.

SPEAKER_01 6:59

Yeah. Um, I have high I have high boundaries. Um, I have a hard eggshell to crack. Um, I've kind of cocooned myself. And I think I did that to protect myself. Um, you know, um, life can throw you challenges and life can throw you hardship. I've never really suffered hardship, which I'm very blessed to have not. Um, but mentally and emotionally, um, having that twist and turn of being hurt and um ignored or um not really thought of as valued, I didn't see myself as worthy of love. And um slowly the egg began to crack. And it really cracked um in the midst of the women in you know Boston, um, letting down your guard and being open and knowing that that that that is such a safe space. Um, not that you and only, you know, Gary and and Adam and you know Matthew are there, but that you also have, you know, Robin and Macy and you know, Carly. And so that allows women to really lean in to the feminine side. And, you know, we don't know that we're hard X shells. We we don't know that we're not being feminine. I had never known that I wasn't being feminine. I had I had not realized that I had never really not dated. And when someone said that to me, and it might have been you, at one of the Boston retreats, that I didn't realize that I had never dated. I met my you know former husband in high school and followed him to college, married him, married for 26 years, and I I did not realize that I had no dating experience. And that was quite eye-opening. And you've got to humble yourself.

SPEAKER_02 8:56

So I Gary, I know you have a topic you wanted to bring up.

SPEAKER_03 9:01

I do, I do, and it's Hayden already kind of teased it just a little bit, which is like I I think you know, the the situation you described where you had a lot of friends, but they're all married, it's tough. It's a it's a weird type of loneliness that we hear from clients a lot, where it's you don't feel like your experience is seen or appreciated by a lot of your close friends. Um, and that's like one of the beauty, beautiful parts of our program is that in so many different ways, we offer this just amazing wrap-around, holistic support system. Um, much of which happens at the live events, but it's also in our community and our masterminds and and all of the above. Um, and I know you found something at the live event that you didn't have before in your life. And her name is Darlene. Can you tell us a little bit? So we have we have a funny portmanteau name for you and Darlene. We call you Hadar because you guys are a formidable force, the two of you. We are. And so can you find in many ways? Can you tell us all a little bit about Hadar?

SPEAKER_01 10:08

Yeah, yeah. Um, so um Hadar was uh created, developed, procured. Um we need to um somehow get it. Um, what's the word I'm looking for?

SPEAKER_03 10:23

Um trademark.

SPEAKER_01 10:24

Trademark, yeah. Um so I arrived, and um, I think it was Carly or Macy, or maybe Robin, had uh talked to either of us, both of us throughout our time and lux prior to coming to Boston. And um, they were thinking, oh, you two should meet. You two have quite a bit in common. And so we were introduced to each other and um we quickly became soul sisters, best friends. Um, we're quite the dynamic, we're quite the conniving two women. We get each other into trouble, but when one is a follower, the other one leads, and when one wants to lead, um, you know, the other follows, we we kind of um have a great, great um dynamic that, you know, we we allow each other's to be each other and we support each other wholeheartedly. And um that developed um on the second night on a Saturday when we were taken out to be social. And um, you know, it's our first time, you know, we weren't quite, you know, kind of feeling it. And um, we kind of looked at each other and said, oh no. But then we realized that, you know what, we're not really participating. If we're not gonna really fully immerse ourselves in the program, then we gotta suck it up and we gotta participate. So it became a challenge. And uh Darlene and I like challenges, and we will be, we will meet, we will beat, um, we will not stop. And I just remember um being in this Matt, I'll just cut you off real quick.

SPEAKER_02 12:00

Yeah, I just want to let the audience in on what the challenge is. So, on one particular night at our retreats, we have a challenge where every client goes out and meets as many new guys as they possibly can. We call it a social score challenge, and so this is what she's referring to is just going out and just starting conversation. You're not trying to pick up a guy, you're not trying to get a date, you're certainly not doing anything else, but it's just initiating conversation. And this is where Haydar comes up.

SPEAKER_03 12:31

Don't forget the trophy. You have to mention the trophy.

SPEAKER_02 12:33

No, I will.

SPEAKER_03 12:35

Well, someone's gotta bring up the trophy.

SPEAKER_01 12:37

No, no. Um so Haydar and our our Darlene and I are walking across the street. We're and I'm like, so we go in and we're like, okay, let's let come on, let's have fun. You know, we we I think the anxiety and the angst came from we'd never done it.

unknown 12:53

Right.

SPEAKER_01 12:53

We had never, ever walked into a bar. Yes, I sit at a bar and I chat, but I don't consider that like introducing myself, you know, to many men. And that challenge was, I think, a little scary for both of us. And I think we just had to arise the occasion and realize that if we didn't participate all in, that we weren't gonna get the value out of the program. And so yeah, we dove in. We dove in full force. We uh actually ended up leaving the bar, and then we came back and we went to other bars outside. Then we came back, and I remember knocking on the window and calling Adam over, and we kind of, you know, and we come in and we're telling him our number, he's like, nobody's ever done. Full titches, nobody's ever done. And we're like, well, and then we kind of we were walking back to the hotel and we were discussing, you know, we've we've got to name this, you know. We we're a force, and so we decided dar hey wasn't quite right. Hey dar, hey dar, you know. I love it, I love it. So three trophies later, and I'm waiting on my fourth.

SPEAKER_02 14:06

Yes, oh my god, I forgot because I have to sometimes at events send them a private secret backend trophy because they just win every every event, so I have to send more about by a lot, right?

SPEAKER_03 14:18

Like, so you know, I think our previous winner, uh the previous year before Hadar came to be, I think the winner was in the 20s, upper 20s or 30, which for one night is fantastic. Like going out and speaking to 30, but then I think your first win was over a hundred. Something I'm sure you probably know the exact number, but it's just like what I love about it is it just really shows like the power of having somebody by your side, going out together, working the system, and just being open to the experience. And as I say every event, if Hadar can get a hundred, that means every single per every single woman dating can get at least one new person a week on their social score. And that's what it's exactly.

SPEAKER_01 14:57

And as odd as it sound, as odd as it sounded, it came so naturally. Once we did it, and we kind of had a little spiel. Hi, I'm Hayden. I'm Darlene. We're I'm from Indiana, she's from Florida. We're here on a dating um conven con con you know conference, and this is what we're doing. And the men were just like, What? And the women that were with them, either their wives or girlfriends, were like, tell me more. Like, talk to him, like educate him. Like, what are you doing? Why? And so, you know, that was fascinating to know that the men actually really don't get hit on, like we all assume they do. And that was our big takeaway was that men don't get hit on a lot. Um, and that the women were really okay with us because we're we introduced ourselves and said, Hey, we're really not hitting on you, we're just doing this for educational purposes. Right. And they were all in.

SPEAKER_02 16:07

I love it. Well, as Mike has been sitting there patiently, I would love to bring you into the fold, Mike. If you wouldn't mind sharing just on that note, uh maybe your story of of dating before you met Hayden and you know, what was it like when you guys first met? Maybe you can share briefly the story because I think that gives a lot of insight for clients from the male perspective.

SPEAKER_00 16:31

Um, you know, dating at our age is different than dating in your 20s and 30s or your teens, let's say. Uh, even your early 40s is different. Um you're really who you are in life is who you are. Um and when you're younger, um, you know, couples try to mold each other into becoming a couple and a pair um instead of being two separate identities and acknowledging each other and working off the pros and cons of each other. Um, but at our age, you're you're pretty much fixed on who you are. Your your traits are your traits. You're you're not going to change much. Uh, you may clean it up a little, but but that's about it. Um, so dating is hard. Um to find somebody that that is honest and genuine, first of all, right off the bat. Everybody wants to project themselves as who they want to be, but not who they truly are. And so you've got to peel through those layers of that onion to find the person. Um, and I really think with Hayden going through love strategies, she already had the transparency there. She was, she, she had it in her mindset, this is who I am, this is what I'm looking for. She she had already taken the blur out of the picture and made it easier, a little easier to focus on um through our conversations. Um, right off the bat, our conversations were short um and direct. It required each to engage back and forth with each other on a on a topic and then elaborate from there. And we it took a long time before we actually even met. But but we when we did meet, we already knew a lot about each other, which kept it each engaged. Uh, it was intriguing, I guess you would say it was kind of like there's a box inside of this box, inside of this box that I'm gonna open up, and eventually there's gonna be a a really good gift in there or something special in there. Um and that's literally how our conversation was that each time it was like you opened up a new present. It was like, oh, there's another one in there. Oh, gee, you know, and you get that excitement. Yeah, so uh I didn't feel that with anyone else. Uh I had I was literally to the point where I was like, you know, I'm gonna just take a break from dating. Uh it wasn't going well at all. Everybody wants to set you up with their friend. Um and and the fear is that you leave the social group that you're in as a man, um, and you're you're you're you're afraid, like everything's gonna change. And for women, I think it's the same thing is like your social surroundings may change because you're gonna find somebody outside of that social setting. Now you're gonna have to share time somewhere else and learn a different area, or or what are you gonna lose by jumping somewhere else, by moving on with someone else? That's a that's a fear at our age because you want the security of your friends and your life around you. You're you're not your human instinct is to survive. That just basic instinct in every human being out there is to survive and be comfortable as much as you can because life is stressful.

unknown 19:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 19:58

You know, Mike, I've always found, I mean, you and I spoke once before when we had our event in Phoenix, and Hayden's like, you gotta meet Mike, you got to meet Mike. And so I gave you a call and we we had a chance to talk. And I once again, like in that conversation and today, I just I find you so insightful and thoughtful about this process and everything that's going on. And so I'm gonna put you on the spot just a little bit. I wonder if you, from your perspective, could give a piece of advice or two to women that are currently dating now at this age.

SPEAKER_00 20:29

Don't be afraid of who you are, be be confident in who you are, trust the trust yourself. Um it's hard to believe in yourself and trust yourself because when you're dating, you're you're almost acting. You're you're you're a you're you're basically trying to be cast for a role. Don't just be yourself. That that's your that's your best method of getting the position is just be yourself, be as honest as you can right off the bat, and but believe in yourself. I love it.

SPEAKER_02 21:05

I love it.

SPEAKER_00 21:06

I love it.

SPEAKER_02 21:07

Now I would love to just hear about your relationship now. And you know, of course, dating is just the beginning and building a healthy relationship. Maybe you could tell us a little bit about your relationship now and and how you're building a healthy communication style and and really working towards the future together. I don't know. I hope that's not too much of a loaded question for uh for you all, but you all seem so open with each other, it's incredible, so intentional. I love it.

SPEAKER_01 21:32

Definitely.

SPEAKER_00 21:33

We um, you know, we're we're approaching a year.

SPEAKER_01 21:38

Today is 11 months. Sorry to interrupt you. Yeah, 11 months, not the day. That's great.

SPEAKER_00 21:43

And um, so you know, we are living together now. Um we communicate, and I think our communication is what keeps us so strong is we openly communicate, we sometimes bombard each other. With information, and we have to take a step back because we heard it, but we didn't hear it. Um, you know, we have busy lives going on, both of us are extremely busy. Um, so it's it's it it can be challenging, but the last thing we do is sit down and and make sure that we heard what each one said. It's it's a lot of fun if you want to know the truth. There are times that it's stressful, there are times where we look at each other and we're just like but five minutes later we find ourselves talking through what just happened and explaining why um and what's going on and and and how we can try to avoid it, but also understanding that it's gonna happen again. It's just life. It's not personal, it's not like you're not looking at each other and going, Oh, I can't hate, I can't handle when she does this, or I can't handle when he does this. No, it's like we we know that the phone's gonna ring, the kids are gonna call, life is gonna happen. And understanding that it's better to to handle this as a as a pair than singularly. Uh, we we do a really good job of communicating. We we're very open, there's no subject that we talk that we won't talk about just openly. Uh and right then, there's times that sometimes we table things until we have a better mood or setting to discuss them in.

SPEAKER_01 23:38

But but yeah, we and when we say table, it might be like just five minutes, ten minutes. We don't go to sleep, we table it. Um, what I'm discovering um is that my anxiety is heightened. Um a lot is going on within my own family, uh, my daughter, my grandchildren. Um, and I've noticed that my own anxiety is heightened. And so when I am anxiety ridden, I tend to be snappier, quicker. Um, and I'm saying things that aren't really kind, but I immediately um acknowledge it and say, you know what, I'm sorry. I did not mean that to come out the way it sounded. I am stressed. Um, I I just need time to decompress. Um, you know, like last night we uh Mike did a really good job. We were on a time frame. We had two girls coming up from school at you know, 4:30, 445. And we had talked prior about what the simple dinner was gonna be and how the night was gonna run. Um, and that's just the Nana and me. Um, and so we accomplished the plan seamlessly. Yep. Um, I had a Zoom call with Darlene from seven to eight. And so we had discussed um my disappearing, and I told the girls, and so my bedroom was off limits, and they're out here playing hide and seek and playing Uno. Um, and Mike did a really great job playing with them and handling them, and then they were in bed at eight asleep.

SPEAKER_00 25:22

They couldn't wait. They were like, literally, it literally it was like 6:58, and and Kenley goes, Mike, are you in charge now? And she's still standing there, and I go, Yes, I am. And she goes, Yes.

SPEAKER_03 25:35

That's awesome.

SPEAKER_01 25:36

Because they know Nana is more on the, you know. Um, but you know, Nana needs to realize that Nana doesn't always need to be on the, you know, schedule. Um, but being a school night last night, and Mike and I had previously talked about it, so I felt really proud about us.

SPEAKER_00 25:53

Yep. I stayed on the timeline, but let them be 10-year-old girls, yeah. Um joining in with them and keeping them occupied, but at the same time, you know, engaging myself and and um not letting them feel like they were just alone to just go crazy. And we did, we kind of go crazy. We played hide and seek, and I'm you know, I am I'm hiding in some places that I didn't even think I could get into. And then and we had dessert, and then I looked at I kept watching the clock, you know, kind of paying attention to it. Not like a hard stop, but like when to wind them up and then start winding them down. And and literally she got done her call, and I and I had him in bed for like five minutes, was sitting there with him, and she kind of goes, Where are they? I said, sleeping. She's like, Oh my god, I can't believe they're both asleep already.

SPEAKER_03 26:40

I'm like, Yeah, yeah, I guess that's what that's what hide and seek and Uno will do to you.

SPEAKER_01 26:46

And Mike's, you know, Mike's never been a grandfather. He has a five-year-old grandson that lives in Japan, but you know, he's learning and he's hopped in with two big feet to fill, you know. And um, he's done it seamlessly. And the girls love him. They call him Mr. Mike, they respect him, they just adore him. Yeah. Well, it's just that that's great.

SPEAKER_03 27:10

I commit I was just gonna say, I I love hearing how well you communicate, right? It's something I talk about a lot in our relationship synergy program, which is, you know, as you know, like our maintenance program, insurance plan to keep your relationship going strong. And it's, you know, every relationship problem has the same initial solution, which is communication. And, you know, this idea of, you know, what you're calling like a little timeout, I call a bookmark, but just this sometimes like you're just heightened, you're not in the right space to really regulate your emotions while simultaneously making clear and cogent arguments or discussion points to your partner. And so you just need a break. And sometimes it's five minutes, sometimes it's like, give me a solid 30 minutes, but it's not refusing to engage. It's knowing when to engage and and how to engage in the most productive way. And so when you have that support system in place, all of a sudden, any of the problems that life throws it throws at you, you can deal with because you have this way of discussing it and working things out, whether it's bedtimes and and hide and go seek or or something else that that happens, right? Um, in life, which is so it's really nice to hear you implementing many of the strategies that we talk about. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 28:23

We also have several black ties that we're going to. Oh, yeah. A little bit of um, we have Reb Indy, um, which is a rate indie 500. Oh, nice. Um, so we've been invited through uh IU Hospital, the IP, and um it's a wonderful event.

SPEAKER_00 28:43

Um, and so a lot of these events are new to me. Um, I won't lie, the first time I went to one, I hadn't worn a tux in 20-something years. Uh, and I was nervous. Uh, and within three minutes, I realized that everyone there that I had met was just a person just like me. And the conversations were amazing. Um, it I actually got to use the robots and perform little intricate procedures like they were doing surgery. Um just the conversations with the directors uh on the direction of what they were doing and going and and the research they were involved in. I they didn't, they were very open about it, and I really engaged in the conversation and soaked in as much as I could.

SPEAKER_01 29:33

But he impressed them so much with his skills from his job, transferring that skill from his job to the robot surgery, and they were they were highly impressed with his skills. Yeah, I love it. So we've met we've met many um people at these black tie events, or even we got we were asked to fly to Florida for a weekend, and uh we were seated at um, and you can edit this out, but we were seated with the I I was seated with the IU um um director of uh procurement, um, and we sat with several families that are really well known here in Indianapolis, and they loved him. It was it was great. It was it was fun. So he seamlessly fits in anywhere.

SPEAKER_03 30:26

Well, I have to give you both credit for something that I've noticed in in your relationship, which is, you know, and this is true of all relationships, but how you guys handle it is is actually really admirable in the sense that so many people when they're dating, and part of this is to blame with online dating, is it's really easy to focus on the differences between two people and to let those differences sink you from the very, very beginning, right? And you've seen it multiple times, like, oh, you know, they're they don't like exactly what I like. You're no, it's like one of us goes to black tie events and one of us doesn't. So, oh my gosh, we're incompatible. This could never ever work. And you both have the completely opposite and much healthier attitude, which is these are desirable differences and these are opportunities for growth. These are opportunities for us to learn from each other, for me to, you know, if you know, if I was in Mike's shoes, like I'm the same guy, like I've not been to a black tie kind of thing. Like, but what a great opportunity to like try it out. And as Mike said, like, we're all humans at the end of the day. Like, what a great mindset. And I'm pointing this out because this is so such a big struggle with people dating, is as soon as they find some difference, they're like, ah, this isn't gonna work. And it's like, no, no, no, that's not how it works. Like, people are always gonna be different. Like, let's lean into those differences, explore those differences, learn and grow from those differences. And you both have done such an amazing job of that. And so I just want to make sure I pointed that out. Thank you.

SPEAKER_01 31:47

Thank you. You know, in the first, my love vision was, you know, someone at my income level, someone at my status level. Um, and I wasn't really um pinpointing, you know, um, that, but it was in my love vision for some reason. And then as I went along on these six or seven dates, um, you know, I wasn't feeling it, and that I was with someone like that, and I'm like, mm-mm, no, this is not what I want. And you know, I've got to lean into um comfort and love and more of the respect, value, gentlemen. Um and high character. He meets them all. He meets them all. High character. Good guy.

SPEAKER_00 32:38

I I tell everybody the same story. If if you put our cards with all of our bios on a table at one, hers would be all the way on the left, you would laminate it and and seal it, and mine would be on the right going to the recycle bed. They would have never crossed. And I tell everybody the same thing. I said, There's no way you would say that social status will meet this one and at all. And then we meet, and it just we draw off of each other. We we truly draw each other, and you know, we learn when each one needs support, and and it's not a matter of hey, it's my turn this time. It may be my turn the next five turns, and then it may be her turn for two, and then five more and back and forth. But we have this great balance, and we realize that when both of us need something at the same time, we figured out which one needs it more first, then we're back and forth. Um fantastic. We I love we both have have done things completely out of our norm and out of our what you would say comfort zone. But when we do that, the other is there to completely make sure that you're not in a pool with nothing, no support around you. And it's it all comes down to our communication. Before we get to something, we express to each other what to expect. I'm right here, and and this is you know how we we deal with things.

SPEAKER_01 34:15

Um and if it doesn't, if we go in and the expectation isn't quite there, then we look at each other and we seamlessly adjust. Yep. You know, we can expect all we can expect at a black tie or dinner, personal dinner, private dinner, whatever. But what truly happens when we arrive, we just kind of get it and adjust.

SPEAKER_02 34:37

It's great. That's so nice to hear. Well, I I have one final question. Oh my god, look at these beautiful love birds. One final question. There are there are millions of women out there, many of whom listen to this podcast, they're stuck, they're feeling lonely, they're thinking, I'm not worth it, I can't attract the right person. What words of encouragement? I'll start with Mike and then we can end with Hayden. What words of encouragement would you have for that woman who's like, I don't know, should I get coaching? Should I, you know, invest in this process? Like, do you have any words of encouragement for that woman who's like, I don't even know if I can do this?

SPEAKER_00 35:15

Don't stop believing in yourself. First thing, don't stop feeling like you're not worthy, like you're not important. There's not a person on this planet that is not worthy of someone's love and support of some kind. Um and don't stop looking. But there's nothing wrong with taking a deep breath and looking within yourself and saying, I am worthy, I am worth something to someone, and that person's there, but don't be afraid to look behind you to the side of you and around you and say, I might have already walked past this person and discarded that that thought. I love that.

SPEAKER_01 35:57

Hayden, you want to close this out? Sure. Um gosh. I would definitely think about your singleness, um, widowedness, um, divorceness, um as somewhat as a gift. I know it sounds odd, but you're really getting it a second or third chance. And no matter what age, um invest in yourself. You know, you invest in education when you're younger, you you went to college and you went to medical school. And you know, maybe you didn't go to college, but you're still investing yourself by, you know, getting up and going to work and volunteering. Um, but you know, you deserve to invest in yourself because that investment is going to be a long-term payout. And that long-term payout is going to be learning a lot of lessons, a lot of love steps. Um, you know, yeah, it took me a while to be convinced. Um, your your staff did a great job. Um, you realize that you some people can do it on their own. You know, some people you know can do it locally. Um, but I was not one of those. And so you've got to take a leap of faith, you've got to um take a chance and sign up for the program. Follow the love steps because they will lead you to a relationship, and you can't you can't put a time frame on it. Um, but you know, sometimes you go back and re-listen to them um because you get more information out of them. Uh I was listening to one of the podcasts just prior to getting on to kind of refresh, you know, my my mindset. And um, you know, um talk about it amongst your friends, share that your success stories, lean into the masterminds, lean in, get on, get on Love Strategies and join a group. Converse, support each other. Um, that's what I think I I have found the most valuable um is the the conversations with you know the staff and um getting on um and you know conversing with others, having a partner um that you can kind of accountability. Um, you know, well, first when I was at Love Steps, I left with 20 great friends and was in charge of the email, you know, communication. And um this year, you know, we're zooming and we're talking amongst ourselves. Um, so you know, um deep women friendships can be developed and cultured, not only uh within the Love Steps, but also a love match can be cultured and found.

SPEAKER_02 38:56

Link in the so much for your time. That was absolutely beautiful. Thank you so much, and we wish you the absolute best of luck with everything in the future. Keep us up to date. We will we'll we'll have to do a couple of rings for you.

SPEAKER_01 39:09

We haven't done some for quite some time.

SPEAKER_03 39:11

Yeah, look at what happens, everybody, when you give love a chance, right? It's like I love the laminated card and the recycling bin card. And it's like sometimes we put barriers in our way that just allows love to not happen. And so just look at what happens when you give it a chance and and you follow some simple strategies. And it you guys are just like your wisdom, your willingness to share. I just can't thank you enough for being willing to share it with all of us. So thank you.

SPEAKER_01 39:36

Well, thank you for teaching me. All right, of course.