SPEAKER_01 0:00

Have you beautiful ladies ever noticed that the men you want don't seem to want you? Whereas the men that you're not that interested in, they're the ones who are pursuing you. And if you've ever experienced this, it can be super frustrating. Something I've certainly gone through myself back when I was single. And so today we're gonna use that as a frame as we discuss this idea of chasing and how to stop chasing men and start attracting love. Welcome to the Love Strategies Podcast, where we help successful women attract high-value men, date with a strategy, and improve their relationships. Now, whether you're single or dating or in a new relationship, we're here to help you dive into the male mind and provide raw insights found nowhere else, backed by science, psychology, and our own personal experiences. Your hosts today are myself, Adam Ladolce, professional dating coach and founder of Love Strategies, and Dr. Gary Lewandowski, a relationship scientist, professor, and our head relationship coach here at Love Strategies. Please share with a friend and enjoy. Gary, you ready to get this thing rolling?

SPEAKER_00 1:00

What do you think? I am. I love this topic of chasing. And for whatever reason, chasing always makes me think of what happens when you have a puppy, right? And so trust me, trust me, I'm gonna bring this back. Um, friends of ours just got a puppy. It's a rescue, super sweet, super cute dog. It reminds me of when we got our dog. Who he's now nine years old, super smart, awesome dog. But when he was a puppy, he was a little, he's a little crapper. Like he just he would get out and he'd sit in the yard and he'd stare at you. And as soon as you started going after him, what would he do? Take off running. And so the only you can't catch a puppy, like they're too fast, they're too wily, like it's just impossible. So the only thing that you could possibly do is every time you chase, he ran. So what you do is you look at him, you turn around and start walking away. And what would he do? He would chase you. And so it's the same thing with guys, and we have to learn to fight some of those natural impulses that we have about chasing, and that's really what we're gonna be talking about today.

SPEAKER_01 2:05

Yeah, at the end of the day, us men, we're just a bunch of puppies. We need to be trained, and we need to housebroken, true. Housebroken 100%. If a guy's not housebroken, he's not right for you. And it really is true in so many areas of our life where we chase the very thing that we want, it actually pushes us away. Like, I always think like chasing love is kind of like chasing money. Like the harder you chase after that thing, the harder it is to actually achieve that thing. Like when it comes to money, the best way to make money is to just add value and the money comes. It's like you don't actually chase the thing. And so by definition, I feel like chasing comes back down to an acknowledgement uh that you're lacking some type of fulfillment in the connection. You're chasing after a thing that you do not have. And you chase really when you don't, when you when you're chasing, it means that you don't have what it is that you want, right, Gary?

SPEAKER_00 3:03

Yeah, I think you know, that chasing feeling, at least when you hear our clients describe it, it feels frantic, it feels chaotic. There's this sense of being insufficient or falling short. It's a chronic longing, the it's wanting, it's wishing. It's just there's something missing, and they're trying so desperately to get it. And it seems like that's the answer. Now, I also think there's another side to this where you know, some some folks listening to this might think, you know, I'm not chasing for any of those reasons. I'm not chasing because I lack something and I don't feel I just know what I want, and I'm gonna go out and get that thing. I have it pinpointed, I know what I want, I'm gonna get now. Imagine this from the other side. Imagine if you learn that a guy's whole life and what he was focused on right now, all he was trying to do was find a wife or find a girlfriend. You'd kind of wonder, like, seriously, dude, like what else do you have going on? Like, is that really it? And so, as much as having a goal of finding a partner to share your life with is amazing. Sometimes that type A go-getter side, it just can't be your whole persona. Like, it can't be that your only goal is to find a partner that just doesn't make you that interesting. And so you have to watch being masculine. And this is like one of those times where what works at work may not work in love.

SPEAKER_01 4:23

Right, right. It makes most so much sense. And the same thing, by the way, plays into when I would coach men. It's not like I would teach men to chase after women. Yeah, there's definitely a different level of pursuit, especially through the dating process. But chasing is a very different mindset, it's a very different frame. And the thing is, when we chase a person that is by nature unattractive to that person, they're not going to value you or your attention. That's why I open this with the people you want don't want you. Well, that happens because chances are you're getting into chaser mode with the guys that you like. And then the guys that you don't like or aren't that interested in, guess what? You're actually playing it pretty cool because you don't like them that much. And then guess what? Since you're playing it cool, they're gonna start filling that gap and start pursuing you. And so if we can use the mindset when we meet someone that we do really like and learn how to play it cool and not play games or anything like that, just remember that hey, I am whole is who I am. I'm a whole being right now. I'm happy with my life. If this works out great, if it doesn't, that's totally fine. If we can maintain that type of a frame, it really sets us up for success. So today we're gonna be really going to the three keys to attract love instead of chasing. And it really is a very different mindset. So, Gary, do you want to walk us through the first one?

SPEAKER_00 5:46

Yeah, uh, you know, I would it's all about that puppy on the lawn, right? It's like you start chasing, they run. You start playing it cool and walking away, they chase you. And that's really what it's all about. And it it comes down to three things you have to do to attract love. The first one is something that sounds super romantic, but it's a lie. You've heard it in movies, you've seen it in shows, you've seen it written on the internet over and over and over again is this idea that you're looking for someone where you can say, You complete me. Aw. I know. And this is like everyone, aw, that sounds nice and adorable, but it's complete trash, Adam. I'm sorry. It definitely is. It's complete trash, right? Because it sounds great. But here's the thing: you don't need a guy to complete you. They should you're that guy is a partner, he's a collaborator, he's someone to share your life with, not someone to fill in all the parts that are missing. Guess whose job it is to fill in all the parts that you're missing? Yours. You've got to do it for yourself, right? And so having missing pieces is part of being an adult and and part of you know recognizing those things on a path towards growth, but finding and relying on other people as a way to fill those things in is a recipe for disaster. Really, I agree. The key is you know, you gotta have two people full, complete on their own, who then wanna share their full, complete lives with each other and facilitate and support each other's growth. Synergistically collaborate.

SPEAKER_01 7:24

Amen. Amen. And I mean, that's why we always say like one plus one equals three in a healthy relationship, and rather than one half plus one half equals one. Like, you're not taking two people who are halves and adding them together to just make one. It's when two people who are have their, and you don't have to have everything together, but like you are settled in your life and you're excited. You know, I always say like the moment you're happy being single is the moment someone comes into your life and makes you unsingle. It's a weird effect that can happen when you're dating. When it's like, you know what? I'm finally at a point where I'm loving this. I'm meeting a lot of people, I have the little love steps, I have a process, I'm enjoying dating. And it's like, bam, now it's gone. But it's if you're at a point in your life where you're like, oh, everything is broken for me. I'm not happy, I'm depressed, I don't, I hate my job, I don't like, I don't have any hobbies, I don't have that kind of fulfilled life, then it's it's just very hard to actually find someone who will fill in those gaps for you. They won't. You got to start with you. And I think that's a really, really important point, which really segues us into the second point, which is having an amazing life. Like it that is why so much of our coaching is a little frustrating at first for some clients. I know that. When they come in and we're like, the first thing we need to do is actually not jump right into dating. We need to focus on you, building your identity and creating a life that is fascinating to you. It doesn't have to be that ever you're just excited about your life. Like, be attracted to yourself and live a life full of love. Like, have that life that you are so attracted to that you're so excited, you look yourself in the mirror, you're like, damn, I feel good. That is where suddenly the right person comes in and is an addition to your already incredible life. But some I know some of you might be thinking, like, Adam, Gary, I'm just not that interesting. I'm kind of boring. You know, we have a couple clients that have said that to me. I had a client said that to me a couple days ago. That's actually a bit funny. But the thing is, that is false. I've never met a person who wasn't interesting in some area of their life. Like if you actually dig in and dig deep, it's just that they don't think it's interesting, therefore it's not interesting, right? So if you can start leaning into those areas of your life that are interesting, I don't care if it's knitting on the weekends. That can be interesting if you're excited about it. So I would really challenge everyone listening to track what Gary has called your interesting inventory. I love this. It's where you take a hard look at your life and your and take real inventory of the things about you that make you special and interesting. Where have you traveled? Accomplishments, awards that you've had. What would be some what would be something that someone would never guess about you? So, one thing you'll hear a lot on the podcast is us mentioning the seven little love steps. These are seven powerful yet simple steps that you can take in your love life to attract that man that lasts for the rest of your life. So if you don't know the seven little love steps, then I have a free training for you. It's completely free. Just head on over to thelovesteps.com. You can go through that virtual training. I think you're gonna really enjoy it and get a lot out of it and understand our exact framework for attracting that relationship you truly deserve. Again, that's thelovesteps.com. All right, back to the pod. What else, Gary?

SPEAKER_00 10:58

What's your happy place? What attributes do other people point out about you? Like, what do what do your friends say? Like, oh, she is so blank, right? Because it's a lot of times it's not things you would necessarily say about yourself. So, you know, thinking about how your friends think of you is is helpful. What funny stories do you have? What fun things have you done in life? What surprising things have happened to you? What are you an expert on? Everyone's an expert on everything, and then just like what are some of your weird habits? You might be thinking, like, weird habits, like, why do I want to share that? Because it's interesting, and no one cares. Like, I'll tell you, one of my weird habits is it doesn't matter what size of a piece of paper towel I pull off of the paper towel roll, I will always rip it in half.

SPEAKER_01 11:42

That's just a weird quirk, dude. That's stupid. I like you like one percent less at this point for hearing that that is weird.

SPEAKER_00 11:50

And it's it's like sharing something that is interesting, and then it shows how you can kind of like look at yourself and laugh at yourself and be like, oh, isn't that kind of dumb? Like, what a weird thing to do. I'd also just say, with this interesting inventory and this idea of like, I'm not that interesting, you're not that interesting to yourself because you've lived with yourself for decades. This is this is like who you've been forever. We have a client who is was a CIA agent, CIA agent and model. And she was one of the ones that said, I'm just not that interesting. It's like, well, well, you know, what have you done about CIA agent, model? Like, wait, what? Like, if that nothing, I don't know to meet you, Adam, but like nothing could be more interesting to me. Like, I would want fascinating! Like, I have so many questions. And she was like, I'm just not that interesting. I was like, wait, what? And so this is just a matter of taking a little bit of perspective and realizing, like, look at yourself through brand new eyes. And if you catalog all these different things, you have a ton to be interesting about. Now, here's the great thing once you do that. The other thing about your amazing life is you need to compile for yourself a greatest hits tape, right? Like, what are the best things about you? What are your go-to stories? What are the go-to things about yourself that are the most interesting? When you're when you start dating, you're gonna go on more than one first date with more than one different guy. Use the same material, at least as a starting point, right? The start is always the roughest, but if you have this go-to greatest hits list of your most interesting aspects about yourself, the interesting questions you want to ask, whatever it is, keep using your best material, right? It's like there's no obligation to you know do something completely different with every single guy. You might want to work in some new things with each person, that's fine. Keep the stuff that works, ditch the stuff that doesn't work, and just keep workshopping it.

SPEAKER_01 13:55

Yeah, I love that. I think it's you know, everyone has one really unique story that they can tell that defines them and their personality traits. And there's always really easy ways to get someone to ask you about it. Like, let's say you have a really interesting hobby. You know, in my case, I would probably lean into kite surfing. I'm really big into kite surfing, I do it a lot. So I would ask someone, do they do any type of ocean sports? Or what kind of sports are you into? That would be, I mean, you might I might not be that specific. That might be a little bit of a leading question, but do you surf? But I could be like, what sports are you into? Do you do you do any sports on the weekends, anything like that? Are you into tennis? They'll be like, Yeah, I'm into tennis. Well, you know, what about you? I'd be like, funny, you should ask. And then I would talk about kite surfing and maybe have a very specific story of one time when I'm out in 50 mile an hour winds, and then out of nowhere my harness broke, and the kite flies into the air a hundred feet and it flows out of my fingers, and I went into a highway. I thought people were gonna die, but it was okay. And I lived. I lived to tell the story. You know, I can tell that story a million times because it's new material to everyone else. And so having some of those things, and it doesn't have to be kite surfing, it can be much more, you know, it can be just much more aligned with you, I think is very important. Really, at the end of the day, so much of dating is marketing. And humans are very bad at marketing themselves. It's hard to do because again, you live with yourself every single day. It can feel a little bit boring. But for all of you listening right now, really take that inventory, take a hard look at yourself and try and do it through a different perspective. I think when you said asking your friends that question, that's a great one, especially for an online dating profile. Like, or of course, if you have a coach, like our coaches, you know, you can always ask ask them about your profile. But like when you're asking your friends who know you really well, just be like, I don't know, tell me about myself. Like, what do you what do you see in me? Like what and you can do it with a girlfriend over a glass of wine and just be like, I gotta write my online dating profile. I am stumped. What do I say? Like, I don't know, what do you find interesting about me? That would be something I would totally ask one of my friends, and I'm sure I would get an answer that I was not expecting. And it'd be great. You know, it's good material. So highly recommend doing that.

SPEAKER_00 16:17

Yeah, and I think, you know, the one last thing I would suggest about having this amazing life is every date. I don't know, I think it's just like one of these standard questions, and guys aren't the best at asking questions, but one of the things that a lot of guys are gonna ask is just the basic, what's new? Yeah, right. You need to have an answer for that, and it just can't be nothing, you know. I mean, because that's I think what we generally say to most people like you meet somebody you put they haven't seen in a while, you pass them in a hallway or something, like, hey, what's new? Hey, nothing much. Hey, how you doing? What's new? Hey, nothing much. You can't do that on a date, though. And so your job is to know that that question is coming and make sure you have something new. And so the huge side benefit to knowing that this question is uh going to happen is it forces you in your day-to-day life to just be more observant, to look for things that are new. What's something funny you saw today? What's something that you did today that you don't normally do? It really can help push you out of your comfort zone to force you to start learning new things, watching new or trending videos, taking a class, going somewhere new, just like start infusing your life with novelty and just things that are breaking your pattern because that's going to give you more to talk about with the, hey, what's new? And then you have something to share.

SPEAKER_01 17:36

I love that. And I remember another question you'll get at the very beginning of a date when you sit down is how's your day? Like it's really awkward. You're just meeting each other for the first time, no one knows how to spark conversation. So nice to meet you. Like, how's your day today? And I remember one time I asked that question, which by the way, I wouldn't recommend starting off a date with that question. It's kind of lame, but I did. And I remember she was like, Oh, my day was so rough. Oh my God, my boss was being such a jerk. I can't even tell you. Like, I spilled my and she just went off on how terrible her day was. And let me tell you, I'm sure she was a fine person. I was wonderful. I we didn't go to a second date. And because just honestly, she had a bad day, and that's okay. We can have bad days, but humans are very judgmental creatures, and it's very hard to override first impressions. Like, that was her very first impression with me, it was just like, oh my God, it was just the worst, and like, oh, now I gotta go on a date. You know, I was like, great, like this is gonna be awesome. Really excited for this date. So that's another one to keep in mind, is just when people ask you about your day, having some type of funny story or something that happened to you, or something unique on the way to the date. Oh my God, I was driving over here and I noticed I looked at the mountains, and oh my god, the mountains in Denver are so beautiful. Have you ever noticed? Like, we live here, so we don't notice these beautiful mountains, but I just had this like incredible moment where of appreciation for where we live. Like, imagine if someone started a date like that. You're like, what a thoughtful person. Right? That's incredible. Great first impression.

SPEAKER_00 19:17

Positivity, huh? Go figure. You know what's really funny about that story with the woman who like basically unloaded and vented about her day. Yeah, she probably felt great. Yes, right? Like, hey, he was so kind, he asked me how my day was, and he just listened. And what a sweet, and she the catharsis of getting all that out, she probably felt wonderful without realizing that this was one of your first impressions, and you're thinking, like, oh my gosh, she sounds like a nightmare because she's just so it sounds so negative. Yeah. And when that's all you have to go on, it's tough.

SPEAKER_01 19:52

That's why the advice that you might get from your girlfriends or family, where it's like, oh, honey, just be yourself today. It's like, yeah, be your absolute best positive, incredibly excited self, right? Be that, be your best self. Don't just be yourself. Because yourself on any given day, myself included, can sometimes be a little bit cranky or a little bit off. And when you're going on a date, it's like if you're gonna go on the date and spend the time and the emotional energy doing that, bring your best self. Don't just be, don't just be yourself. Because you're right. Maybe she got off that date. She's like, oh my God, he's such a good listener. That was such a good vent, or whatever it is. Why didn't that lead to a second date? It's like, well, you weren't your best self today.

SPEAKER_00 20:37

You know, it's tough. At the risk of this being a little bit of a tangent, I know there are some people when we share this type of advice that say, but that's inauthentic. That's just that's inauthentic. I was having a bad day. Yeah, you were having a bad day, but that doesn't mean that you're multifaceted, right? There, there's many sides of every person. And so there are certain sides that you share at certain moments and certain things you don't share. Like if you went to the convenience store and were buying a cup of coffee and someone asked how your day was, even on that same bad day, you're not gonna vent to the person that you're buying a cup of coffee from at Wawa. Like you're just not doing that.

SPEAKER_01 21:14

And like that's not gonna be like you're not gonna be your true authentic self at Wawa, just imagining that person.

SPEAKER_00 21:21

Like, you're just not. And so, like, I think sometimes when people are like, there's a reason why I don't do that, and it's like, no, you're you're just making excuses, and it's there, you're multifaceted. You should we selectively share aspects of ourselves all the time. Just be a little strategic. And as you get to know people over longer periods of time, you don't have to be as strategic, you can be a little bit more vulnerable, and that's fine. But this is like a job interview in some ways. Like you got to show your you put your best foot forward, so to speak. Now you put your best foot that br that brings us to our third one here, which is very much in line with this idea of being positive. And the third key is to project. Project stability. And so you're not going to chase guys away if you project this sense of stability and positivity. And so the first key piece with projecting positivity is to have an attitude of gratitude. The thing is, we have a lot to be thankful for. There's a quote that I heard recently that I really have come to like, which is struggle ends when gratitude begins. Neil Donald Walsh. And so this goes to this whole thing. It's like you can have a bad day, but you don't necessarily have to like wallow in your bad day, so to speak, right? And this is one of those things. Gratitude is highly research supported in the sense that expressing gratitude about your partner improves your relationship quality. Expressing gratitude about your life improves life satisfaction. And so you're thinking, well, I don't know. Do I have a lot to be grateful for? I think that's always a question that people have with this. And so I think there are three questions you should ask yourself to kind of optimize your gratitude or conjure up more feelings of gratitude. Um, and I I love these. I'm not gonna lie. I'm gonna show my hands. I love it. So what do you have now? Here's the first one. What do you have now that your teenage self would have died for? My motorcycle.

SPEAKER_01 23:24

Right.

SPEAKER_00 23:24

Am I supposed to answer these? I'm going to do it in my head. But like think about it. Like your motorcycle, your wife, your house, your salary. Like there's so much we all have right now that when you are 15 and you projected into the future, you would have been thrilled if you would have had half of the stuff you have now.

SPEAKER_01 23:43

I mean, Gary, my wife's okay, but my motorcycle, that's a different story. All right, dude. No, you're so right. Of course, I'm kidding, honey. I love you, and I'm very grateful.

SPEAKER_00 23:56

So the second question is kind of going the opposite direction, which is what do you have right now that your 100-year-old self would miss? Yeah. Right? That's the big one. That's a huge one. Like what I mean, it could even be what do you have right now that you're gonna miss in five years? Right? It's it's we don't we're not as gracious about our current situation as we need to be. And so this helps with that amazing life thing, it helps with positivity.

SPEAKER_01 24:24

Um, and then the last one can I just add to that one real quick before we get to the next one? I heard this saying on a podcast, I would quote it if I remembered who who said it, but it really struck me. And that well, it was a business podcast, and it said something along the lines of Jeff Bezos would give up all the money in the world to be in his 30s. Like he would give up all the billions of dollars, likely, or let's go with someone older, like Warren Buffett, who's you know, in his 80s. He would give up everything he has just to be my age. And I'm my age and doing everything I can to be like Warren Buffett. I mean, I'm not trying to be like Warren Buffett, but like you get the point. It's like, so what's the point of it all? You know, it's like once once you have it all, you would give it all up to just be at maybe my point in life or younger, whatever it is. And so, and that's true of so many different things in our life, and we're just constantly on this idea of chasing, we're chasing that next thing. It's like maybe if you're 15 years married, you would love a day in your shoes being single and going on a date because it's kind of fun, right? But you're chasing being in a relationship. So it's just it's such an interesting frame to put on any moment in life because yeah, it gives you just a little bit of pause to think, wow, I really do have it pretty good right now, you know, regardless of your age or where you are.

SPEAKER_00 25:50

Yeah, and it's like we said at the top of this, you know, chasing comes from a lack of fulfillment. And so one of the things that gratitude does is it fills in the blank, right? It allows you to realize that you are a lot more fulfilled than maybe you're giving yourself credit for, which then makes it so you don't have to chase that piece that's missing because maybe it's not missing in the first place, right? It it's it's important. And so that third question to cultivate gratitude is what's going well for me that I take for granted that others don't have. And so we tend to compare ourselves, like if you want to feel bad about yourself on any given day, find someone you know to compare to that's doing a little bit better, and you you can make yourself miserable. But we don't necessarily enough just kind of appreciate the things in our data, you know. You have a roof over your head, right? Like, not everybody has that. You have job stability, not everybody has like there's a bunch of things that are just seem so basic that not everybody has, and that gives you a sense of gratitude as well.

SPEAKER_01 26:51

Yeah, I love that. I love that. And I think on this idea of gratitude, another important part of projecting stability and just being a stable person is learning to actually live in the present. Because so the the easiest way to feel bad about yourself is to be worrying about the future or having regrets about the past. And so I really encourage everyone to start harnessing the power of being where your feet are right now. I mean, just stay in the now and appreciate it. You know, don't live in the past. I get it, your past relationships haven't worked out. Maybe you've gone through a divorce and it's infecting your current relationships. But it's time to start dropping some of that baggage off and start living in the present now. And don't worry about the future. Right now, you're in an exciting period of time in life. You get to date, you get to explore people, you get to meet a lot of new people. Um, and so, you know, I really think that, and uh God, it's so weird for me to give this advice because I'm the ultimate like future thinker. So it's really hard for me to do that. But if I ever find myself going down that rabbit hole, I go through the gratitude similar questions like that. I try to, and suddenly it just reframes everything you're going going through in that given moment.

SPEAKER_00 28:09

Yeah, and I think you know, one other piece of stability with future thinking is excuse me, sometimes people, when things are going well, they just get this like, huh. It's suspicious that things are going well. And so they start conjuring up problems, they start playing the what if, like, what if this could go wrong and what if because and it's like all this worrying creates this sense of neediness that then leads you to start chasing yet again. And so, you know, again, just got to be where you're at and not worry so much about the past or the future. Enjoy the moment, make the best possible choices you can. Um, which brings us to the last piece for stability. Real quick one is you want someone to share your life with. You don't want to need someone to take care of you. And I think that's really important because I think there is sometimes, and I see it sometimes with clients, is like this wanting, like, I need someone to take care of me. I want someone to take care of me. It's like you really don't. And I'll tell you who doesn't want that, guys. Yeah, right? Like, guys don't want something extra to take care of. They will take care of you, don't get me wrong. Like that that's not what I'm saying, but it's like we don't want to, when we first meet somebody, have this sense of like, gosh, they're always gonna need me. They're gonna need me for all this, they're gonna need me for that. It's like they don't have their life together, so I gotta, you know, people have enough of their own things going on, they don't want something else added to their list of things they need to do or take care of. And so you want to make sure that you again, full, complete life, stable, you're there, you're a rock as well. Um, so you can be there for him.

SPEAKER_01 29:53

And for those of you who might get triggered by what Gary just said, just flip men with women. If we said to you all, you don't want someone to be to have to take care of you, you'd be like, you go, guys, you're so right. You'd be like, oh my God, they're so on my page. I totally agree. So for those of you who are heard that and were like, oh, I don't know, that feels icky. Like, I don't want a guy to take care of me. And yeah, I mean, he should take care of me. It's like, well, just flip it around. And the thing is, in true partnerships, you are both taking care of each other and you're providing an added layer of support. But all of this really comes down to being comfortable with yourself today. And so whenever someone asks me, like, what words can I say to make it appear like I'm not chasing him? Like, I've gotten questions like that, and I'm like, the question itself tells me everything what's wrong with the situation. It's like when you finally have these three things we're really discussing here, you have stability, uh, you project stability, you have an amazing life, and you don't have this like you complete me energy. Suddenly chasing isn't even a factor. Because if someone's not that into you or they're not excited about being around you, you're just like, whatever. Cool, go live your life. It's like not a big deal. Emotionally, that that's like the enlightenment period that you can get to. Everyone listening, you can really get to that point where it's just like, if they're not into me, I'm not attracted to them anymore. Why would I be attracted to someone that isn't investing their energy in me? I'm not gonna chase some little man child who's not really excited about me. No, I would never do that. And so that's the part that that's where we want to get to with all of this. So this isn't about tactics. This is about you building yourself because at the end of the day, a relationship, like I said, is really one plus a healthy relationship. One plus one equals three. And that's what we're all looking for as part of this. So thank you, Gary. That was super fun. I appreciate it. Yeah, thanks, Adam. All right, thank you so much for being a part of the Love Strategies community. By getting to the end of the podcast, you have proven that you are a high value woman who deserves a long-lasting relationship, and we would love to help you get there. So, what I recommend you do is go to loveapply.com and you can claim a free love strategy session where someone on my team is going to get on a call with you on a Zoom session, be able to understand your challenges and see whether or not we can help you make that a reality this year. So head on over to loveapply.com, apply for that free love strategy session, and we cannot wait to help you attract that man you truly deserve. All right, thanks for being here.