SPEAKER_00 0:00

So he wants to take a break from the relationship. If you're watching this video, maybe you've experienced this in the past or you're going through it right now. If you've ever experienced this, then there's really four things that you can do right now so that you don't sit in the pain, the piercing pain that you experience when you hear those words, and we can actually move forward in our love life. My name is Adam LaDolce. I'm an executive love coach and the founder of Love Strategies, where we help successful single women just like you get out there and attract long-lasting love. And I recognize I don't create enough content about breakups. And I think it's because of my framing as an executive love coach. I'm so focused on the future and what is possible rather than the past. Especially once a breakup happens, it already feels like it's in the rear view mirror to me as a coach. It's like he's breaking up with you, he wants a break. Bye-bye. Next, see you later. But I recognize some of you are going through this, it can be extremely painful. And so I wanted to create a short video that I think will help out a lot of you moving forward. So let's talk about what it is that we can do if a man ever says to you, you incredible woman, that he wants to take a break. For starters, realize that's on him. It's not necessarily on you. And bye-bye. That's the framing as a step one. We're not going to allow his own crap and his own life to have a negative reflection on you. That can be like the most challenging part of all this is trying to figure out the confusion of why, why, why, why, why. Recognize you might not actually get an answer to the why. And that in itself is closure from the situation. Number two is we need to remove all reminders of the relationship. It is not healthy to be scrolling through his Instagram page to see what is going on. It's not healthy to be going through old texts or photos to just go through all the memories of what used to be and what could have been. All it's going to do is cause you to ruminate over this guy, ruminate over the relationship, continuously have that cycle in your brain thinking of, oh my God, what if I just said something different? What if I did something different? We're not going to do that in this situation anymore. Remove those reminders from your life. If you need to, you can silence his text messages. If he's texting you, certainly unfollow him or at least mute him on social media by removing those constant reminders of this man's existence. Suddenly his existence can start to diminish a little bit and allow you to really think through was this relationship even healthy in the first place? And with that said, you're gonna reflect. Instead, I'd be asking myself, What did we do wrong? If you're going to be reflecting on the relationship, it allows you to reflect on the relationship dynamic. Because every relationship that ends, it ends because of both partners. Both partners were involved, and there was a relationship dynamic that didn't work between the two of you. And certainly you can take some ownership of that situation, but also he's gonna take some ownership of that situation or not, he's already in the past, but you get my point. He definitely should take some ownership of that situation. This way you can at least learn from it a little bit, grow from it, so you don't bring that to your next relationship. Number three, and this is the one that I know might be a little bit spicy, a little bit counterintuitive, but bear with me, which is I highly recommend you stay social and I highly recommend you start dating again. I get it. I have a bias towards you getting out there and dating because that's what I do for a living. I'm an executive love coach. We really encourage our clients to get out there and meet a lot of people. And I know your friends and your family and everyone around you might say, Well, take a break, wait until you're ready to start dating again. But the crazy thing that I've found over the past decade of being a dating coach is that people who wait and wait and wait to feel ready typically wait a very, very long time. They're almost waiting for like this magical moment where they're like, ah, finally I'm ready. Oh my god, now is the time. And what we've found through some very gentle or sometimes not so gentle encouragement with our clients to start dating is that the very act of going on a date or the very act of meeting new people makes you ready to start dating again. When you're sitting at home and just waiting to be ready, you just actually do the opposite. You become less and less ready. But if you go out and you're like, I'm not ready, I don't feel up to it, I don't know. And then you meet this like really tall, handsome, successful guy who makes you laugh, and you're like, Oh, I'm ready. Suddenly you become a little bit more ready. Now, who cares about that guy? But at least it gets you into the kind of the momentum phase of your dating life again. So, really, I would highly ring encourage at a minimum stay really social, continue going out, continue engaging with your social group, continue going to events, continue going to pickleball leagues, continue doing all the things you used to do. And I would also encourage to get back out there a little bit. They always say the best way to get over someone is to get under someone. Well, not here at Love Strategies. We're not gonna get under someone, but we are certainly going to at least go on a few dates and see what's going on, see what else is out there, which leads me to the final and probably most important point of it all, which is get out there and go find someone better for you. Now, I'm not saying you gotta say like that person was the worst person in the world, and that person was terrible. No, the guy who needs a break, no. But what I can say is that person wasn't right for you. I mean, he needs a break. He wants to end things. So is he really right for you? No. Let's go find someone who is better suited for you, who has the same long-term desires as you, who has the same need for a committed relationship as you, who's willing to fight for you through the difficult times in a relationship. That's who we're going to go out and find. And we're gonna elevate our standards for character rather than just look for the guy who's the right now guy. We're gonna find someone who is really going to elevate your life and you're going to elevate his life. Go out there, go find someone better. Do not sit around in this kind of like victim mode of like, woe is me. You've got this. Do not allow this man who said he wanted to take a break to derail the next couple years of your relationship. Recognize that you have the power right now to decide if now is your time for love. This guy clearly isn't right for you. Let's go find someone better. That's my little rant of the day. I hope it was helpful for all of you. And uh, if you've ever experienced this before, leave a comment below this video. We'd love to hear from you. And if you'd love a little bit of experience of getting back out there and start dating again, that's exactly what we do around here. I want to really guide you, encourage you, and help you through this healing experience. You can head on over to loveapply.com, apply for a complimentary love strategy session. We'd love to walk with you every single step of the way. All right, speak to you all very soon. Bye, ladies.