SPEAKER_01 0:00

This short podcast is for all those single women who are getting out there looking for love. And I'm going to tell you one thing that you've probably realized as you've been getting out there and dating. And that is dating is hard. Dating can be challenging. It can be frustrating. But what you're going to discover as we talk about this today is that the most important things in life that we want to achieve or have in our life tend to be hard in order to get them. And Gary and I are going to be discussing how it is that we can maybe make it a little bit easier for you. What do you think, Gary? I think this is going to be an important one for everyone. Welcome to the Love Strategies Podcast, where we help successful women attract high-value men, date with a strategy, and improve their relationships. Now, whether you're single or dating or in a new relationship, we're here to help you dive into the male mind and provide raw insights found nowhere else, backed by science, psychology, and our own personal experiences. Your hosts today are myself, Adam Ladolce, a professional dating coach and founder of Love Strategies, and Dr. Gary Lewandowski, a relationship scientist, professor, and our head relationship coach here at Love Strategies. Please share with a friend and enjoy.

SPEAKER_00 1:10

It is because dating is hard and people are trying to do it. And as soon as they start trying to do it, they realize, oh my gosh, this is hard. And like anything, I went out and looked for a little data to back this up and I found a bunch actually from the Pew Research Center. And the numbers aren't good in terms of how hard dating is. 67% of daters say their dating life is going poorly. 75%, that's three and four, say it's difficult to find a date. Half of Americans think dating is worse now than it was before. And it's like all the reasons why. And it's funny because it maps on all the things that we share with our clients about, you know, skills and strategies to help account for these things. People say they're too busy, they don't have options, they don't know how to approach people, they don't know how to flirt. A lot of it's skill-based kinds of things. But I think what's you really see when it comes to dating is dating is hard, but it's a lot harder when you're doing it alone. You don't have support, you don't have guidance. Friends and family try to help, but they're mostly annoying. Like they say things that they're trying to help. And it's like, why haven't you met somebody nice? It's like, oh my gosh, Nana, leave me alone. Right. And so it's like Nana is always making dating harder.

SPEAKER_01 2:15

Why does she have to do that?

SPEAKER_00 2:16

You're like an annoying aunt. It's like, well, you know, I found your uncle. And it's like, oh yeah, I know where you found him. Like, let's, I'm not going there. But it's like, it's so easy to feel lost, frustrated, hopeless. And I'm sure every single one of you has been dating, listening to this podcast, at some point has thought, I quit. This isn't worth it. I'm going to be single for the rest of my life. Maybe where's the local nunnery? Like, where am I going? And I think it's important to recognize that wanting to quit is completely normal, but it's a choice. And people who are successful, they'll have that impulse, but they don't follow through on the choice. And so 99% of failure is not from not caring, not trying, being flawed or failing to love. It's from giving up. It's from using the wrong strategy, the wrong approach, the wrong mindset. And it's like, this is what we help people do. This is what makes, I don't know, my day-to-day life so fulfilling is like I get to help people who feel hopeless in the most important area of their life and I get up help them turn it around, get to get that hope back. And uh, that's what we're gonna do today on this pod.

SPEAKER_01 3:20

I think one of the most profound things that happen to new clients when they first start working with us is they go from this emotional state of being like, Why me? Why is this so hard for me? What am I doing wrong? They're looking in the mirror and analyzing their body and thinking, I'm too old, or I can't do this, and why is everyone else so successful at this? And I'm just lost. But then they start working with us and they join this incredible community of other clients and our accountability coaches, and they start to realize A, I'm not alone with my struggles. There's other people out there who have gone through this, and B, oh my God, there are people out there who have been like me and now have total hope or have the result they're looking for. And that's like such a profound moment in the first couple of days that our clients go through. And I love it because it just like it breathes air into their lungs again. Cause when we feel like we're just all alone through this, like there's something really unique about my misery, then suddenly it's just it just feels so discouraging, right?

SPEAKER_00 4:37

Yeah, what it's what I like about what we're gonna share today is sometimes the dating, I don't know, hype is more of the like, you got it, girl, you'll be fine. Dating's easy, you just gotta figure it out. It's like, no, like that's just false, it's like toxic positivity because it's such BS. It's not true. And so we're not doing that at all today. We're like, yeah, this is it's kind of difficult. But here are some things that are really gonna help. And one of the things that helps is exactly what you just said is just knowing it's not you, because the most toxic thing you can do when things get hard in dating is start blaming yourself, right? What's wrong with me? And then you start thinking, like, I'm never gonna make this work. If it's not working now, it's never gonna work. And I guess I'm just gonna be alone and miserable forever. And it's like the real problem with that is it kind of infiltrates your entire vibe. And you know what that makes you unattractive to everyone. Definitely. And so it's a bad cycle. And so we know that this is something that you're gonna feel, it's a natural part of the process. But we also, from working with all of these clients, know how to get you out of it because a lot of it's mindset. And so we know it's possible. We know you're not necessarily feeling that way at the moment. Or, and if right now you're like, no, no, everything's fine. I'm great, just wait. Like there's gonna be a moment, right? Like there's just down times that there's ebbs and there's flows. And so you're not there yet, yet. And you know, we're here to help you get there.

SPEAKER_01 6:07

It's something you'd mentioned that just rang true with me and reminded me of a moment we had many years ago was this idea of toxic positivity. And I think the internet is just full of it. Like you see it with weight loss all the time. It's like, hey, work out for seven minutes a day. It's super easy and you're gonna lose 30 pounds. And the dating world has similar stuff. It's like, use these three magical words and you'll forever have a man addicted to you for the rest of your life. And what it does is it sets you up for discouragement. Because if you think it's going to be really easy at first, and then you see the reality of how the world works, then you're gonna say, Oh my God, like I can I can't even do this. I used the three magical words, it didn't work. So what the heck? And so something I really appreciate about you in particular, Gary, is like when we set out on this mission many years ago of spreading this more realistic messaging. Um, we went into it just being like, Look, we're going to talk about the real deal of dating and what it's like so that people go into it with their eyes wide open, with the right strategies and can persevere through the times when they're like, Oh, this is hard, but I can do it. I have the strategies, I have the support system, I have all of everything that I need in order to make it happen. We're not going to fill people up with this kind of like fake hype that says, Oh my God, you're so perfect. Everything's great, all men are fantastic. You know, just manifest your man, you know, have your crystals and he'll appear in your life. No, not around here. And so, um, I don't know. That's kind of my rant on the general like self-help industry. I think it really sets up people for a lot of discouragement. So let's get into some of these 10 honest truths that I think a lot of you need to hear that will, once again, breathe some light into you, uh, some of that air into your lungs so we can get you out there. So, Gary, you want to hit us up with the first one?

SPEAKER_00 7:58

Yeah, and I think, you know, the first one is just the honest, like dating is hard. But here's the thing: here's why it's extra hard. You've never been prepared. You're taking a test you never studied for. There was no class, there was no manual, you're you've received no training. You were thrown in and basically like, swim, good, good luck. Maybe you'll be okay. Um, and because you're never taught these skills, it makes everything just a little bit more confusing, right? Contrast this with other areas of life where you've received tons of preparation and all of a sudden those things start feeling easy. Uh, something I say to my students all the time is, you know, yeah, this is going to be hard. You know, it's usually about statistics or doing a research thesis or something. I'm like, yeah, this is gonna be hard. But here's the good news. And they're like, oh no, what? I'm like, we can do hard things. We can do hard things. And so it's just a matter of preparation. And so if you haven't received a lot of training and you don't have a lot of skills, well, the answer then becomes really obvious. The solution is just learn more things. And the great news is if you're listening to this podcast, you're already on the path, you're already started, and that's put you in in the top five percent of people easily.

SPEAKER_01 9:05

Definitely. Which really leads us to the second one is that right now, if you're not a client working with us and you're just listening to podcasts, I mean, you you're not really alone, but you are different. Like a lot of people are lost, they're confused, they're uncertain, and just might settle for anything instead of the real thing. But you're different because you're here right now. You're listening to the podcast, you're listening to new information, and you really are. I wouldn't even say in the top five percent, Gary, I'd say in the top 0.01 percent of people who are intentional about their life. They're taking the time, they're taking the energy to change their circumstances. And that's why we do this podcast in the first place, because we know for starters, a certain percentage of you are going to be like, hey, this makes a lot of sense. I really want to work with you guys. But secondly, we just want to be able to spread that really good juju out to the world and be able to help you all and give you hope. And so just recognize that the very fact that you've even gotten to this part in this particular podcast right now, you are in the top 0.01 percent of people on the planet who are getting out there and dating.

SPEAKER_00 10:15

Yeah, and I mean, let's be honest, you you're upset by how your dating life is going because you care. Some people have a dating life that's not going well, and they're just like, eh, whatever. But like you, you're upset about it because you care. And so anytime I see clients and people frustrated, I always say that this is such a good sign because it shows that you actually have your heart in this because you've been genuinely trying. And if you have that level of hope, you have that level of trying, you actually believe love is possible for you. And it is. That's right. And so apathy is not the real problem. It's not that you don't care. Caring is a great thing because when you care this much about dating, when you find your person, it's all that caring, it's all that devotion to relationship. That's what's going to make your relationship go well. And so we want you to use that heart and hustle, that all that caring to dive back into dating and really leverage all of that enthusiasm that you have for finding your person, but you know, in in the right way, using some proven strategies, right? Along the way.

SPEAKER_01 11:20

Apathy is toxicity in many ways. Like, in some ways, I'd rather work with someone who's like, Adam, I hate dating, I hate men, I hate all relationships, I'm out. Or of course, a person's like, I love relationships, I love dating. I want to get out there, I just don't know how. At least they care. The ones that I think are really kind of scary are the ones who are like, eh, whatever. I don't know. Like, if it if it comes into my life, like that's fine. If not, like whatever. And of course, we can all recognize that likely they're hiding a deeper sense of caring. There's there's a protection mechanism there. But have you ever noticed that, Gary? Like the people who are just like, yeah, whatever, I don't know. Like, I'm fine. It's just like, what are we doing here? What are we talking about? Where's the care? Where's the personal care? Where's the life care? Where's it? Where is it?

SPEAKER_00 12:14

I mean, change takes energy. And if you don't have energy and you're just kind of like, uh, whatever, then you know, you're just gonna kind of bob along at a certain level. That's and you're just gonna get stuck where you don't want to be. But maybe you don't care and maybe, maybe you aren't even listening to this podcast in the first place. But it's, you know, you have to have an impulse for change, whether that's getting out of something bad or heading towards something good. Um, the research actually shows having a little bit of both is the most powerful combination, but it having both is okay. Like being upset that things aren't working, good. Harness that, be upset, like use that. Um, get determined, don't get defeated. It's something I used to say to my daughter all the time, right? And it's like that is a really important, you know, little lever to push. And so I think speaking of speaking of defeat, and the fourth thing I like to tell clients that are feeling down about dating is one of the worst experiences you have during dating is, you know, going out with somebody and then realizing they're not for you. That feels like a loss. It feels like you're not successful because you're supposed to be finding the one person. But being discerning and realizing that people aren't for you, really realizing that that guy isn't the one, that's a great thing. That's a win because you figured it out. You didn't waste more time. And for many of our clients, one of the first couple of wins they get is figuring out on the first date, maybe in the first conversation, like, oh my gosh, this guy isn't what he says he is. This guy is gonna be a problem for me. And they figure it out in an hour or an evening, what would have taken them before six months, a year, or longer. And it's like then they'll say, Oh, they'll come on to mastermind. Like, talk to you, all right. You know, I went on this date, I seemed like a good guy, and it was the worst, and it was terrible, and I'm so bummed out. It's like, no, no, no, no, no, no. You are one step closer. You're look, look at your instincts. Your instincts are getting better. You're not gonna do it all in one step. That's not how a journey happens, right? It's it's step by step. And so dating's not gonna be linear. There's gonna be some setbacks on the way, but like these things that are setbacks, these people that you're figuring out aren't the one, that's important. You're filtering, you're discerning, you're ruling out all the people that are bad for you. That is gonna help you find the right person. Those are wins.

SPEAKER_01 14:37

I had a client join a mastermind maybe a couple weeks ago, and she was going on her fourth or fifth date. She went on her fourth or fifth date with a guy, and she was really excited about this guy, really excited. She's she's only been working with us for a couple months, but she was so excited. But on that date, he started really pushing things sexually, like wanting to bring her back to his place, started wanting to talk a little bit dirty on the date, and she was setting a pretty clear boundary that she's not that type of a woman uh who would even explore that at this stage of dating. So she started to set those boundaries. And guess what happened with this guy? He ghosted. He ghosted after the date, and she didn't hear from him again, and she's like, Adam, this is so frustrating. Like, what the heck? Why isn't this working yet? And all I did is I was trying to be kind about it because that is so frustrating, it's so painful. Ghosting is the worst thing, but I applauded her because I knew just from working with her for the short period of time that the old her would have started sleeping with this guy. And I we started talking about him. Like, well, before working with us, would you have hooked up with him on that given night? She's like, Well, I mean, probably, yeah. I said, Great, we just saved you a three-year situationship with this guy. That's a big win. Like, that is the ultimate win of all time. I mean, three years to five years of heartbreak. I mean, how many people listening to this have just gotten sucked into the wrong relationship because they didn't hold strong to their boundaries? And when she recognized that, she's like, Yeah, you're right, let's go. And I said, Perfect. Now our heart is open to the right guy when he comes along, and we're going to continue working the little love steps in order to make that happen.

unknown 16:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 16:30

I mean, just because it doesn't work out exactly how you wanted doesn't mean you made a bad decision. It doesn't mean you weren't doing the right thing. Like some you can do the right thing and it still doesn't work out, but it didn't work out in the exact right way, right? Because if holding off on being physically intimate scares a guy away, he was never yours in the first place. Right. Right. And so it's like that, it doesn't feel like a win in the moment, but in a month, she's gonna look back and be like, whew, whew, dodge that one. I also think, you know, so the the fifth piece of this dating pep talk is this is something I have to remind myself of all the time. Which Gary, is this a pep talk? I can't tell.

SPEAKER_01 17:09

I am not sure. It is, it's meant to be. I feel like this is us offloading and making sure that everyone's aware. I don't know. You tell me. Do we need to speak more inspirationally?

SPEAKER_00 17:20

It is maybe we should skew a little more inspirational. But it's like, I think, you know, when you're upset about dating not going well, it is and again, it's something I remind myself all the time is like now isn't forever. Like, we our family, we just got a brand new puppy. This puppy in the first two nights slept through the night zero hours. Oh, zero, and then through the first week, it was like two hours a night. And I was like, this is the world's worst decision I have ever made. What were we? I said to my wife, Well, what were we thinking? And I was like, wait, nope, it's only been a week. We'll see how it goes. He can't possibly be like this forever. Though in that week, I was sure he was going to be like that forever. Now, fast forward, we're in week two and a half at this point. He's sleeping through the night, he's fine. He's a perfect angel. But it's like, this is the thing is like we always think when things are going bad, when we're living through that pain, it's like this is how it's going to be. And so the hard that you experience now does not mean that that's how the rest of your story looks. In fact, something I say to clients a lot, which is easy choices now, hard relationships later. Hard choices now, easy relationships later. And so, like the the story you were just talking about, the easy choice for her would have been just like, oh, this guy wants to hook up, so let's just do that. It's an easy choice, hard relationship later. She made the harder choice now, and so she's gonna have an easy relationship later. And so I'm sure many of you listening to this podcast, you've been through tough challenges before. And you made it through. And if you look back, it was actually those things that were pivots to better things in your life. And so rather than looking through it like, oh, this is terrible, it's always gonna be like this. It's like, no, no, no, no. I see this pattern, I've been in this pattern before. When things get bad, I always emerge. I've always made it through. And not only did I make it through, like I learned things, it gets better. And like a lot of those experiences that seem really bad at the time made you who you are today. So let's use it in that way.

SPEAKER_01 19:17

What makes it hard, anything in life, is what makes it meaningful. In some ways, like, and I've talked about this before on the podcast, but I'll just say it again. For those who are new, like sometimes we have clients who start working with us, and within the first three or four weeks, they find their person. And then six months later or a year later, they're engaged and they're married, and they're like, Wow, you guys are just magicians. And yes, we are. Yes, yes, yes. Of course, I'm a magician. No, of course, we always say, like, you did the work and we were just there to guide. But the truth is, there's a part of me that's kind of like you didn't go through the pain part of it. Like, there's something to the experience of experiencing those really challenging moments that just makes the ultimate achievement, or and I don't even want to call relationship achievement, but bear with me for this one. The achievement of anything in life just that much more like wonderful and incredible. And so, like when you're going through the difficult times in life with anything, whether it's losing weight or starting a new job or starting a business or starting to date again, just know that the shit you go through, like once you get there, pardon my French, once you get there to the other side, you're gonna look back at those experiences as being foundational and like your greatest growth experience. Like it really is. And it's so true. For I think of when I was starting to be a professional speaker uh many, many years ago, and I was speaking on stage and speak in front of a thousand people and I would completely bomb. Like, I'm telling you, in the moment, I was like, oh my God, I could literally just like jump off this bridge the next day. Like, I'm like, I cannot do this. What am I doing? But I now I look back at those moments as being like, I'm so glad I went through that pain. That pain was like created the person I am today by going through those just like horribly embarrassing moments. And I just I think it's just so important to reconnect with that when you're in it, you know? But it's hard to do when you're in it, really hard to do.

SPEAKER_00 21:25

How many things in life? It's like the work makes it worth it. Right? It's like, you know, getting getting a PhD is like it's sucked. But it's like, you know, that's partly why it's an accomplishment. Like if it was easy, everybody would do it, right? And like that's there's something to that too. And so I also think, you know, to bring in a a little bit of numbers into into this whole dating thing is the number I like to remind clients of when when they're feeling bad about their prospects and feeling a little bit hopeless is one. As in it only takes one, right? You can have 10 bad dates, 10 bad meetups, but it only takes one good one. And you only need this whole dating thing to work out once. And one good relationship that you're gonna have is gonna help you forget about all those bad ones. One good relationship, one amazing partner, like your entire dating life, your entire relationship trajectory can change in one evening if you meet the right person and it all kind of falls in place. And so when you put it in that context and it only takes one person, I don't know, dating all of us, it doesn't sound as hard. It doesn't sound as intimidating. Of course, you know, our job is to help you put the right ones in front of you so that you find that one, right? But it's uh, it really only does take one.

SPEAKER_01 22:36

Gary, I'm such a jerk. I really am, because sometimes when I hear someone say who first starts working with us, but Adam, the little love steps aren't gonna work for me because there are no good guys in my area. And then I look at them and I ask them a very simple question. You're telling me there's not one guy in your 30 to 60 mile radius who could meet your love vision? You're telling me there's one. And they're like, Well, of course there's one. Good. Yep. All we need is one. That's a starting point. Let's go. And for those of you, by the way, who are listening who do want a step-by-step path on how to get out there and find love, we talk a lot about these seven little love steps. These are the foundation of everything we do. You can get a free training on how to follow these little love steps at thelovesteps.com. It's a free virtual seminar. You're gonna enjoy it a lot. And we give this to you all as a gift, once again, for hope. And if at the end of that training, you're like, hey, I want to follow this process, I want your guys' guidance, I want to have that support and accountability, you can book what we call a complimentary love strategy session at the end of that session. So, Gary, please walk us to the next one.

SPEAKER_00 23:46

So, the next one is just a reminder that as you're looking for your partner, as you're looking for your person, it's not all important. And this is this message is especially important for the people that are perfectionists, the optimizers, the maximizers, also the people that tend to be a little avoidantly attached. And this is the idea that this isn't about lowering your standards, right? Or just giving up from dating entirely. It's like there is a third path. And what a lot of times is happening is the I want it all mentality. I want the perfect partner. I want every single last box to be checked. And that's a tough strategy because when everything is equally important, if it basically means nothing is actually important to you. And so you need to understand the difference between something that is a genuine must-have, non-negotiable trait, something that we would say goes in your love vision. It's a limited list, half a dozen things. Like those are the must-haves. And it's it's the bedrock, high character kinds of things. Everything else is a nice to have. And so, do you want all of your nice to have? Everyone does. But we you can have anything, but it's really hard to have everything. And so, you know, when you're a perfectionist and you're maximizer and you're always trying to like optimize the last little bit of joy out of something, what we know from the research is that actually makes you miserable. And so it's probably making your dating life kind of miserable too. And so it really just boils down to instead of saying I want it all, let's just realize what's actually important. Adjust your strategy to really focus on, like, here are the things I will absolutely not negotiate on. They must have, they must be kind, caring, supportive, good communicator, good solid human being, non-negotiable. Does he like everything I like? Does he like all the same activities? Is his hair the way I like? Is his height the way I like? Is he is his attire the way I like? But all that stuff's not that important. It's not as important. This guy wears too much flannel. Okay. He can change his shirt. Like that's fine. Um, and so this makes dating a lot easier when you start prioritizing.

SPEAKER_01 25:58

Yeah, I agree. And I think you mentioned perfectionists, I think that leads us really well to point number eight, which is there's really two types of people out there. And I not only two types, but two types of people where I think they struggle in dating. One is the person who takes total 100% ownership of all of their circumstances. And then the second type that I think struggles, the person who takes no personal responsibility. So the point of this part is that it is you to some extent, but it's not all you. Like at the end of the day, you are the common denominator of all of your past relationships. You are, you have the most control over your ability to change. And you should definitely examine that over and over and over again. But this is really important. Don't just continuously blame yourself and put everything back on you. Because it's important to just have a balance throughout all this, right, Garrett?

SPEAKER_00 26:53

Yeah. I mean, I think, you know, part of what you have to own is your own clarity, your own clarity about your priorities, knowing what you're what you want. Because if you're clear that you're looking for a real relationship, you're looking for long-term commitment, high character men, some of the guys you end up meeting are going to hear you say those things and basically in their mind be like, I'm not that guy. And he's gonna self-select out, right? And that's good. That doesn't feel in the moment like a win, but it is a win. And it's this is not about diminishing yourself in any possible way, right? You be you, your guy is gonna love you for you. And it all boils down to number nine is like this is the path, right? Part of why people want to give up while dating when it gets hard is that you worry that because it's hard, that must mean I'm doing something wrong. I'm on the wrong path, I'm going in the wrong direction, or I'm not doing this right. Um, and that there's like this internet saying that's it's like kind of a nerdy thing, but it's like a hero knows when they're they're going in the right direction when they face obstacles. And it's like, yeah, like you're on a hero's journey. Like we're all trying to do things. And it's like if you never face obstacles, you're not actually pushing yourself. And so the people who found love, it's not that they were met with constant success. They had obstacles, but they didn't quit. They wanted to. Every single one of our successful clients at one point they say, Did you have doubts about this? Did you want to quit? Oh, yeah. But they didn't. They didn't. They had doubts and they kept going. They didn't lower their standards, they stuck with it. And that's something I say to clients all the time: don't lower your standards, increase your patience. And that's really important. And I think the other real important thing that I see all the time, you mentioned this a little bit earlier, is with our masterminds and how we have our clients, is the people who are brand new, we don't do a separate program for people that are brand new. We we put everybody together. And there's a really smart reason for this is that when you're brand new, you're right in the mix of people who have been in there a month, three months, five months, et cetera. You get to see all of your future progress embodied in all the other clients, right? And the other clients get to say to you, like, hey girl, I was there too. And they do this on the mastermind all the time. It's like I just had it the other night. This this one woman was saying all this stuff about like, she picks the wrong guys and it's always attracting the wrong guys, and it's it's always like this, and it's always going to be like this. And like somebody else in the comments was like, Listen, I hear what you're saying. I said all those things to myself. I listened to what they told us in these masterminds. And here I am, three months later. I have met this amazing guy who I was convinced did not exist. And I'm always like, I just give myself goosebumps. But it's like, I'm always like, yes. Like, and it's so helpful because I can tell you, Adam can tell you, like, this is part of the journey. And it's like there's gonna be these ebbs and flows, and it's gonna work out. But it's like the clients being like, hey, I was you. I was you three months ago. And it's like such a such a powerful thing.

SPEAKER_01 29:57

Definitely. And speaking of ebbs and flows, this is a good, important final part of this, which is you're gonna go through challenging times. You're gonna also have times where like everything's going really great. If you're in a really challenging time and you're feeling you're like you're burnt out, it's okay to just rest, refuel, and reset. Like sometimes when you're exhausted by dating, it's okay to like pause the apps. Pausing doesn't mean quitting. It's okay to take a step back and protect your energy. That's why with our little love steps, the first little love step is all about building your feminine confidence. And it doesn't have anything to do with dating. It's actually very important for you to take a step back and evaluate your own life and how are we showing up in our life? And we will say it all the time, Gary, with some clients. It's like, hey, why don't we do a pause? Let's go back to your love vision, let's go back to little love step number one, reevaluate. And when we have that energy again, then we go back into the process with a vengeance. We really push it hard. So for those of you who are feeling burnt out, it's okay to take a pause. And one of the best ways to do that is really by frankly scheduling a love strategy session. Because what our team does is they give you an hour of their time and they're gonna really understand what are those patterns that we continue to repeat. And it feels like we're kind of beating our head against the wall, doing the same thing over and over again. It's creating exhaustion. And then we're gonna really understand what is your vision, what's really important to you, what do we really want in a healthy relationship? And then we'll build out a strategy to make it happen. And don't worry, it's not like if you work with us the first day, we're gonna have you going on three dates. We don't do that. We're not a matchmaking company. We're gonna support and guide you and help you to become the best version of yourself. And so, for those of you who are feeling like, I don't know, this thing hasn't really been working for me in my dating life. I need a little bit of a reset. Just head on over to loveapply.com or also leave a link in the description. You can apply for that complimentary love strategy session, get on someone with uh get on a Zoom session with someone on my team. They're compassionate, they're empathetic, they're gonna listen to you, understand you. And if we think it's a great fit, we'll invite you into our world. If not, you'll leave that conversation feeling enlightened and ready to go. So it's a win win regardless. So, Gary, this was a fantastic one. I appreciate your time. And for everyone who's listening in, go get them this week. We believe in you.