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Are men turned off by successful single women? The answer is yes. But before you bite my head off, it's not for the reasons you might think. Because if you're like most of my clients, you are successful. You've done things in your life. You maybe are a doctor, an attorney, maybe you are a professional, uh, an executive. You've worked really, really hard in your life. You've made something of yourself. But you find that these guys are just really turned off by some of these attributes. And you might be thinking, it's the success that is making this happen. But I'm going to make an argument here that I think is going to really, really help you and empower you to attract love because your friends are likely not helping you out very much. They're probably telling you things like, men are intimidated by you. Hell, the Frank, the guy Frank that you went out with might even tell you that he's intimidated by you. So you think, well, it's the success in itself, it's the resume that is probably doing it. But the thing is, and I want to ground you in the truth, it's not the success itself, it's the qualities that made you that successful in the first place that is actually intimidating to men. My name is Adam Ladolce, I'm an executive love coach, and I work with some of the most powerful women on the planet, helping them get out there and attract their last forever love. This is all I do. I work with very, very intense type A women, and I very successfully help them attract the person they truly, truly deserve and they can spend the rest of their life with. So I have a lot of experience with this particular matter. But what I will tell you is that are some guys truly intimidated by your resume? Yes, they are. But those are the wrong guys. The other majority of guys who are on your level, they're not turned off by your resume or your accomplishments. They're just turned off by three of these things that typically come alongside with that type of success. And once we understand these things, we can learn how to manage them so that we can have really healthy relationships. And by the way, just so you don't get really frustrated, these things are also true for men. So let me just make that very, very clear. This is true for all successful people. It just happens to be that I speak to successful single women. And so keep that in mind. So, what are the qualities that might turn people off that are the same qualities that make us successful? The first one is control. Well, there's an old saying that is lazy people don't know how to start, successful people don't know how to stop. What made you really successful in your life is likely your level of control. Like you make shit happen. You are in charge. You are the doer. If you're in business, you have employees, you tell them what to do. And when we're dating, we might say that we like them when a man leads. Like we, oh, I love, I want a man to step up and want to lead. But what it really means is that you want to lead a man to lead. Like you want to be in full control still, and you want to be able to tell a man what to do in order to lead you. Really, be honest. And I see this all the time with clients who say, Oh, I just want a man who can step up and step into his masculine. And then they the guy plans a date, he puts in all this effort, and they go on the date and they're like, Well, this isn't what I would have chosen. This isn't the restaurant I would have chosen. And it's very similar to thinking about like, if you have employees and you have to delegate to other employees and to people who work underneath you, sometimes people will do things differently or the way that you would not have done it. You would be like, why did you do it this way? But with dating and control and control, it works very similar. Where if you truly want to have a man lead, you have to recognize he's going to do things ways that you did not want him to do it. But the fact that he did it is fantastic. And men will really lean into their masculine when they can truly, truly lead and they can show a woman all the incredible qualities that they have as a human being. But if we're constantly in control, we're trying to control everything, control what he does, what he says, where he goes, um, how he leads the relationship forward, then suddenly you're gonna notice that these high character masculine guys are naturally going to pull away. So notice again, it's not the very fact that you are successful that's turning some of these guys away. It's the fact that we are up, and by the way, self-admitted control freaks, and we want to control every single step of the process. So if we can go into dating and just release that a little bit, release that energy, recognize that you know what, I can't control everything. And then honestly, it's a lot more fun when I step back and I let this guy take the lead, and I'm gonna see where he makes mistakes, and that's okay. I'm not gonna judge him too hard unless he makes a major mistake. And if he does, then that gives us more information about whether or not the guy is right for us. You see how this works? So the first one is control. The second one is all about trust. Because in my experience, working with so many incredibly successful women, I'm talking, I've worked with clients who are worth hundreds of millions of dollars who've done incredible things in their life, celebrities, politicians, you name it. One thing I've seen consistently across a lot of successful people is that successful people have a high barrier to trust. We do not trust people naturally. Because if you've ever been in business, for example, and you had partnerships, many times the trust breaks, you get burned, and you realize you know what? I have to have a high barrier to trust. I once had a business partnership where the person was basically stealing from me. And that from that day forward, my trust barrier went up. Like I really was like very became more and more skeptical of people. And as we get older and more successful, our trust is just much more earned. Like we need to, we really, really want to look for people who we can truly trust. And that doesn't always come very quickly. And so if you're dating right now, this can also happen. This works in other areas when you're dating. You don't want to get burned. Everyone is a it feels like everyone is kind of a taker around you. And when you have a lot of wealth, especially, there is a massive lack of trust when you're dating. But I will tell you, if you're dating and you go out with a guy and you immediately are only about 10% trusting of that man, it's gonna break the connection. If you go on that date with like full-on skepticism, I assure you, he's not going to feel connected to you. So, one rule we have here at Love Strategies is to give every new guy that you're experiencing 70% trust. You don't get have to give him 100% trustworthiness. You don't need to give him 10% trustworthiness. Start at 70%. And as he continues to earn your trust, then you continue to trust him. And that's it. It's a very, very simple thing. But once again, notice that when we are very successful and very accomplished, we tend not to trust people more and more. And with dating, trust is the foundation of a relationship. So if you're finding that a lot of men are being turned off by your success, perhaps it's because we're not trusting people enough through the dating process. And finally, number three is all about perfectionism. I am a perfectionist. There we go. I admit it, I really am. And if you've ever achieved anything big in this world, I guarantee you'll never be harder on anyone else than you are on yourself. You're probably an absolute perfectionist. You like things done the right way, and you might spend time in your life building things. You might have long nights building something amazing, teams, a career, you name it. And it sometimes requires a high degree of perfectionism, like in order to get there. I built Love Strategies from scratch. We have an incredible team, it's a very large international organization. It required perfectionism. But when we bring this level of perfectionism into relationships, you will find, if you haven't found already, that it does not work because humans are inherently imperfect. You're imperfect, I'm imperfect. Relationships are imperfect. And so it's a very different energy that we need to bring to dating, to relationships, than it might be to our career. We cannot assume that the man you're with is going to do everything perfect. He's not going, he's going to miss cues. I promise you. He's not going to understand all of your needs. He's not going to be able to read your mind. He's not going to be able to do everything exactly the way you'd want to do it. And we're going to have to kind of take a step back and take that perfectionism that we've had in our professional career and put it aside and realize that the deepest connections you will ever have in relationships are based on the deep imperfections of other people. So, really, the purpose of this video is to just recognize that it's not the things you have done in your life to be successful that might be turning off men. It's not your success. It's the things that made you successful that might be turning off some of these guys. And the best thing is we can change that. We can change our controlling behaviors. We can change our perfectionism. We can change our trust. And once we start to do that, we can increase our trust when we meet a person for the first time. Once we start changing these dials a little bit, suddenly you're going to find that high character men out there are going to be massively drawn to your accomplishments. Most successful guys out there want to be with women who are on their level. They also want to be with a partner. And so if we can recognize that, suddenly it breaks through this belief that men don't want you because of your resume. That's not true. Get rid of that thinking. It's not empowering you. And so for those who are listening who are like, you know what? I think I need a little help in this area of my life. I'm a successful woman. I've done everything right, but my love life hasn't quite clicked. Then that's what we do around here at Love Strategies. And the next step from this video is to head on over to loveapply.com or you can click the link in the description and you can apply for what we call a love strategy session. That's where you can jump on a Zoom with someone on my team who's going to chat with you directly. Understand some of your relationship patterns that may have been causing some of these kind of broken relationships in the past. Understand your love vision, the man in the relationship you truly want, so that we can then create a strategy to find this man. And if you decide that you want to work with us with our executive coaching programs, we'd be happy to welcome you. If not, you can take the strategies and go off and do it on your own. Head on over to loveapply.com, click that link in the description, and we can't wait to speak with you. All right. Hopefully this is helpful for you. Go get them.