SPEAKER_00 0:00

Ladies, don't you wish that men came with like warning labels? Like Gary, how great would that be if when you first start dating someone, there's like literally a warning label, like emotionally unavailable until further notice or like danger. This person might disappear without explanation. Like, how great would that be? If like they legitimately had like a red flag attached to them. Well, in today's podcast, we're gonna be talking about some of these warning signs, and we're gonna be discussing the five dangerous signs that a man will betray your trust, which is incredibly painful when you really start investing yourself emotionally in a person. Isn't that right, Gary? Welcome to the Love Strategies Podcast, where we help successful women attract high-value men, date with a strategy, and improve their relationships. Now, whether you're single or dating or in a new relationship, we're here to help you dive into the male mind and provide raw insights found nowhere else, backed by science, psychology, and our own personal experiences. Your hosts today are myself, Adam Ladolce, a professional dating coach and founder of Love Strategies, and Dr. Gary Lewandowski, a relationship scientist, professor, and our head relationship coach here at Love Strategies. Please share with a friend and enjoy.

SPEAKER_01 1:15

I love it. I love the whole idea of warning labels because I'm sure just talking to our clients, they wish that these guys would just have like these like labels, almost like a NASCAR driver with like patches on his uniform. Like, hey, warning, replies take three to five business days. Caution may expect, may contribute bare minimum, but expect maximal effort from you, or slow betrayal impending, right? It's just like these things are coming. Yeah. And it's like it's hard to know. If you haven't been dating a little while, been out of the game, a little bit rusty, or just you haven't been that successful. It's hard to know what some of the signs are. And the thing is, the thing about betrayal, betrayal is such a big emotional word. And betrayal happens when somebody wrongs you and it feels like it came out of nowhere. But the crazy thing is, betrayal almost never comes out of nowhere. There are clear signals, there are little signs along the way. There are little things these guys are doing, people are doing, that shows that they're a little dishonest. They justify things, they they're just a little shady along the way. And if you're not looking for them, if you're getting those love feelings and you're just like, this guy's amazing, you're gonna ignore some of that stuff. And so you hear it, we hear it from all clients all the time. I'm sure you hear it too. But it's like, if only I could have seen the signs sooner. Like, what did I miss? So that's really what we're talking about today is like, what are some of those signs?

SPEAKER_00 2:41

Well, and I think that's the interesting part of being an executive love coach. Like, this is what we do, is we are able to see situations that our clients are going through without the emotional investment. We're not in it with these guys. And so when I'm sure, Gary, you've seen it on Masterminds when a client is perhaps starts dating a guy and they're really excited, and they're like, Oh my god, I think I found the man of my dreams, and I'm so excited, you guys are geniuses. And they explain something, and we're like, whoa, whoa, whoa, hold up for a second. Let's just double-click on that one thing that you just said. And we're not doing that to be buzzkills. It's not always like we need to move on from this guy, of course not. It just comes from a place of we need to be cautiously optimistic at all times. Because when in the first three months of dating, we just have these blinders on. These blinders that are we're so excited. We have so many love chemicals flowing through our body that it's so easy to justify these small moments as being like, I don't know, it's gonna be fine. Don't even worry about it. He's really handsome. The sex is great. Oh my God, we have we have such great banter with each other. But I think that's what we do as an organization, all of our executive love coaches, all of our staff is we just say, hey, hold on a second. Let's just pause for a minute, take a look at that, because I don't want him to betray your trust three, five, six, seven years down the line. And then you wonder what the heck happened.

SPEAKER_01 4:10

I feel like this is like one of the hidden advantages of having spoken to thousands of women about their relationships over the last four or five years, right? For me at least, right? It's like you hear so many of these stories, and like I recognize the patterns. We joked at the beginning about these warning labels. And I think a lot of times these guys really do come with warning labels, but they're invisible to most people. But after speaking to so many women about their dating experiences, I don't know, I'm sure you feel the same way. It's like, I feel like they're completely visible. Like there are just certain things that are signs of bad behavior that not everybody picks up on. Uh, you know, it's it's funny, in a previous life, literally in the 1900s, I used to work at a video store. Don't laugh. You were alive in the 1900s too, pal.

SPEAKER_00 4:56

But so I worked at a video store, right? Not as alive as you were, but you know.

SPEAKER_01 5:01

Fair, fair. Um, but it was like at a video store, like VHS tapes, like literally like not a blockbuster, but a competitor to Blockbuster. You know, the big thing with VHS tapes was you had to rewind them. And we had like those like little be kind rewind stickers and all this stuff. And like, I want to say 97% of people rewound their stuff all the time. Sometimes people would occasionally forget, and if they forgot, you'd like look at them and be like, oh, you know, hey, next time can they be like, oh my gosh, I'm so sorry. But there were always a couple guys that were just like the no, I didn't, yes, I didn't rewind. They don't even apologize. You'd be like, hey, rewind next, yeah, whatever. Like, you can do it, whatever. We had this one guy, we're gonna call him Frank because that was his name and it was a long time ago, and I don't care that his name was actually Frank. Um, he was a serial offender. This guy never rewound his stuff, right? And he would just be like, Oh, yeah, I guess, I guess I didn't do it. Well, we came to find he hadn't been in the store in a little while, and somebody knew somebody that knew him, and it's like, oh, you know, what happened to Frank? Frank got arrested, and it was for something serious enough that Frank wasn't just arrested, he was in jail. And it was like, yeah, it totally checks out because it's like one of those like little signs that it's like someone can't bother to rewind their VHS tape back in 1993. I hope Frank's still in jail. Like, this is just like one of those things. I wouldn't be surprised if he was also a person who went out and betrayed women. He was dishonest. Like he just it's a low character move, and it's like it's something you wouldn't notice about somebody, but when you know what to look for, there there are signs there to pick up on.

SPEAKER_00 6:39

Lock him up, throw away the key. I hope he's still in jail, Gary says. I love this really bothered Gary, but it's I the point still stands, which I totally agree. And I there's a part of me that hopes Frank is just like listening to this podcast right now from his jail cell. That'd be so fun. Um, but you're you're so right, where it is those small moments where we see a person's character, and what you saw was this man's character. If he was willing to lie about that or not rewind his, you know, the videotape or whatever it is, what else is he capable of? And so I think that's kind of the framing of today is to not overlook those smaller signs. We're not saying necessarily we need to immediately break it off with the person, but be aware of them. Go into these situations with these guys with your eyes wide open. So let's get into the first uh sign, which is, and this is a really important one, especially for guys who are a little bit on the older side. You might see this a lot, which is he virtue signals. The sign is that he's very loudly virtuous. He's going to remind you, he's gonna remind everyone how loyal he is, how much he sacrifices, how much he rewinds the tape when he rents a video tape from a rental store. Does anyone even still do that anymore? But he's the type of person who wants to make sure everyone knows how much integrity he has because he's begging for credit and recognition. And in many ways, this is an incredibly, incredibly dangerous sign because he is just screaming, screaming for that validation.

SPEAKER_01 8:13

Yeah, what makes it really dangerous is he seems like a great guy. Yeah, you know he's a great guy because you've heard a lot about what a great guy is. Sure, you've heard it from him, but this makes it hard because it's like, wow, he seems amazing. No high character guy is out there begging for attention like this. You just do things that are the right thing because it's the right thing. You don't need, you know, the attaboys and the pats on the back. Like you don't need this recognition. In psychology, we call this kind of behavior moral licensing. It's where you're doing good things and you're trying to get credit for it in a way to license you or give you permission to not do the best things all the time. Uh one of my favorite studies of all time. I talk about this in my oddly enough, in my statistics class, but it's a study where people eat organic. Do you eat organic, Adam? No, I do not actually.

SPEAKER_00 9:04

You don't? So I don't. Sorry, did that kill your story? I we don't usually I don't really believe in it. Sorry. But so But for the sake of this, I could say sure.

SPEAKER_01 9:16

No, no, no, no. High integrity, don't say, but people, there is a certain thing about eating organic that every once in a while people are like, Well, I eat organic. And it's like this high value, it's like showing like I have this higher moral character because I'm eating organic, and it's better for me, and maybe it's better for the environment, or maybe it's better for the animals. But what they found in this study is when people ate organic, they then followed them after the study to and they set up a situation where they could help somebody in need. And the people who were the organic eaters who made a point of like, but I ate organic. They were less likely to help somebody in need. And so they talk about this as like a moral licensing thing where it's like you think by like doing something good. They made parallels to this with like recycling, or like maybe it's like returning your shopping cart at the store. It's like you do something good and it almost kind of like says to yourself, like, I did my good thing today. So now I don't have to be good in all the other ways. And that's to me, like with these betrayal, this betrayal sign, is like that's essentially what this guy is doing, or this type of guy. It's like, oh, look at me. I'm so amazing, I'm so good. That it's like, well, why are you keeping such close track? Are you hoping to get credit for this later when you're not being a good guy? Because that's not what a high character person does at all.

SPEAKER_00 10:34

Right. Virtue is quiet. It's very quiet. And I think it's good for all of us to remind remind ourselves of this when we're going on dates as well and talking about ourselves and all the wonderful things we've done in our lives, which is it's far more powerful for someone to learn something about you that's virtuous. It's far better for them to learn about that from someone else or to see it through your action rather than you telling them about how virtuous you are. It's just far more powerful, you know? And we've all been on dates with people who want to make sure that you know how great of a person they are. They give you all these examples. But in many ways, that in itself is a huge red flag because what else are they hiding? Why are they why are they trying so hard to get that validation? So what are you trying to prove? What are you trying to prove?

SPEAKER_01 11:24

Like if you're really confident, you don't need to do that kind of thing. Um, so I think the the second big sign for potential betrayal is a guy who has what I call a firewalled life. And so what I mean by that is entire sections of his life exist separately from entire other sections. Like his work friends don't know anything about his real life friends, or like his home life is completely separate from his family life, from his work life, from the people. Like, there's just no blending or merging of any aspects of his life. And so it's tricky because in many ways, men are socialized, you're brought up to compartmentalize, right? Like you can be strong and tough in some ways, but no, actually, you have to be like that all the time. You can't have an emotional side. That's got to be completely separate from your strong and tough side. And so we keep work at work, right? That's like a standard thing that guys are brought up with is like you keep work at work, stay focused, don't let your emotions bleed through. But what happens is then you start having different versions of yourself. And now, not that everybody that does this is shady, but doing this sets you up, it creates the psychological architecture to lead a double life, right? It's it's like the guy who always comes to you. He's a little bit distance and he always comes to you, and you never know anything about his home life, his hometown, his friends. What's up with that? No, it could be nothing, but this is one of those things. Like you want to get a sense of potential impending betrayal. Well, why is a guy always traveling 45 minutes an hour to you and you never go to visit his hometown? Well, maybe he's got a whole other life there. Maybe there's people there that don't he doesn't want to know about you. And so one of the things to look for is like watch for his comfort level when different parts of his world collide. Work friends at a personal event, you know, you show up somewhere unexpected, you know, something about the situation isn't how he orchestrated it. How's does he go with the flow, or does he feel like a little uncomfortable about things kind of spiraling?

SPEAKER_00 13:34

Yeah. I mean, I it's so true when you start dating a person, you're not meeting the real person. Everyone has a mask on. Everyone's wearing a mask, and that is their identity that they bring to a first date. And of course, his identity on a first date is going to be different than his identity at work, and it's going to be different than his identity when he's watching football with his buddies. But we don't know a person until we see their various identities. You don't know a man until you've been introduced to his world. I want to see how this guy shows up when he's hanging out with his buddies. I mean, obviously, you can't see the whole thing. You probably wouldn't want to, honestly, Garrett. There are parts of it. But there are moments and glimpses that you will catch when you're around him, when he's hanging out with his buddies, when you meet his friends, seeing how his friends speak about him, seeing how he might be when he you go to a work event with him. You're gonna get really important glimpses of how different those identities are. Is he in alignment with himself when he's on a date? You're gonna see it when you go to a family event, I promise you. And if you're feeling like those identities are completely out of alignment, beware, beware, which I think lends really well to the third one, which is personally my number one deal breaker in a relationship, especially early on, but of course in a long-term relationship, and that is lying. We call it the tiny lie tests, which is watching someone who may be just telling a small little white lie, but that is going to tell you a lot about the future potential to tell more lies. As I as I looked at the docket this morning, Gary, I saw your your video story, and I thought I would share my own little story. So I wanted to tell one about this one. Where I was dating a woman in my early 20s, and we oh, dating is strong. We were more like talking. We were probably went on one, maybe two dates, and it was like a Saturday, and I'm like, Hey, do you want to hang out tonight? And she responded with, uh, sorry, I can't tonight. I gotta hang out with my parents. I said, Oh, okay, sounds fair. Maybe we'll get together another time. So, of course, I call up my buddies. I'm like, We're going out tonight, we're gonna have a blast. I'm in my 20s, of course, right? Uh, it's not like we're exclusive. And I go to this one bar, I remember the name, it was called the Brahmin, and it's not even around anymore. Um, but I remember going to this place and I see her at the corner of the bar talking to some dude. And but the thing is, the thing is, she wasn't even with that guy, she was with her girlfriends, she was with her girlfriends and just hanging out. And we happen to have caught eyes very awkwardly. And I the thing is, like one would imagine this felt like a massive amount of betrayal, and I felt like jealous. It was more just like a weird moment of why would you lie? It's not like we're exclusive at this point. I don't care. We're not in a relationship, you're not cheating on me. It's just a weird, weird lie to tell. You could have just said, I'm hanging out with my girlfriends. I would have been totally fine with that. You could have said, I'm going to the Brahm, and I'd say, cool, I'm not gonna go there. I'll give you your, I'm gonna go somewhere else. But instead, there was this tiny lie. And when that happens, what I think about immediately is, what would this person be like as a girlfriend? What would this person be like as a wife? What would this person be like as a mother to my children? If they're willing to tell a lie about the stupid small things, what are they gonna lie about when really there's high stakes? And so whenever you catch someone in a very, very small lie, really, really dig into that. Those cannot just be kind of brushed all off to the side. They need to be really investigated.

SPEAKER_01 17:23

I think it's really funny your story, that moment when like you awkwardly caught eyes with this woman sitting at the bar. This is exactly it's like I just had this flash. Like, this is exactly the look I get when I'm walking across campus and I see a student who emailed me that small that morning saying they couldn't be in class because they were sick or like something bad happened. And I walk across campus and I see them, it's like, uh oh. Yeah, you're just hung over. Yeah, it's like you just like just tell me like the truth. Like I don't care that much. It's uh it's funny, but it's this is the thing. This is the sign because if you're willing to tell the small lie, the pointless lie, the lie you didn't have to tell, what does that say? It says you have a very casual relationship with the truth, right? It's the guy who says he went to the gym, but he didn't. He said he was talking to his brother, but he hadn't. He casually just tells these like stories where, hey, you know, there's this one time I told this guy that I had been a race car driver and I was. And it's like you'll catch like these little things, and it's just they're all signs that this guy is just a little more comfortable than perhaps he should be with not telling the truth. Because that's the thing is like betray big betrayals don't come out of nowhere. There's antecedents, there's like these little micro lies that lead up to it. And integrity is a full-time job. You have to have high integrity at all times. And so when you catch these little inconsistencies, these little lies, now it doesn't mean that he's a terrible, awful person, but it does mean that you need to double tap on those things and be curious. Do not dismiss them, do not excuse them, do not translate them. Don't just be like, that was weird, that was strange. Ask. Ask. Oh, wait, oh, so I thought you said you went to the gym. Oh, well, and then see, because if someone accidentally misrepresents the truth, when you catch them and you ask about it, they're like, oh yeah, I didn't. I saw yeah, yeah. But if they're actually trying to be deceptive, they double down. They ask you a question back, they they start giving a whole long story about this whole explanation. It's a very different feel. And so you just want to pay attention. Like, does this guy lie by habit, by reflex? Because a lot of times you don't have to tell a lie. So why is he? What's up with that? You want to you want to pay attention to those things.

SPEAKER_00 19:45

Well, I find lying people who lie, even the small lies, they typically, not all the time, but do it because they're cowards. Because telling the truth can sometimes be hard. It can be hard to tell the truth. Like that woman was kind of being a coward, right? All she had to do was just tell the truth. And it wouldn't, it honestly wouldn't have hurt my feelings. I legitimately didn't care. Like I slept great that night. But it's it's cowardly when you're going out with any of these guys and they try and justify the lies to themselves where they're like, Well, I don't want to hurt her feelings. I don't want to, my intentions are really good. That's why I lied. I didn't want, I didn't want you to be jealous when I said I was going out and grabbing drinks with a female coworker. Or when I said I was doing something else instead of going and instead I was going out and grabbing drinks with a coworker. They, in many ways, will manipulate it and manipulate you into thinking that they did this because they're a good person. But what I encourage everyone here to do is set the frame in any new relationship that you're in or any guy you're dating, that truth is the core of a relationship. That is the only way that you can trust someone is through radical honesty, honest truth. And when you set that tone in a relationship, either someone adheres to it or they break it. It's it's binary, it's black or white. There's no like, oh, it's just a small white lie. No, live within the truth. And if he breaks it, then he might get one warning, which is very clear about where, you know, how you correctly communicate in a relationship, which is truth. And if he doesn't, if he does it again, he's out. So, and just with all this, I think one resource that I think could be helpful for all of you that I want to mention earlier, that uh Gary and I put together, which is called the male mind map. And it is a free seminar that really helps you understand the male mind on a much deeper emotional level, how to connect with guys, how to understand the red flags that you really need to walk away from and the green flags that we need to be looking for. And we're also gonna be discussing the seven powerful steps that you can take today to be able to attract the man relationship you truly deserve. So the place to find that. Resource as part of this podcast is malemindmap.com. Go check that out, or you can click the link in the description. I think that'll go along really well with this podcast. So go check it out.

SPEAKER_01 22:11

I like what you said earlier about cowards and how people who aren't willing to tell you the truth are cowardly. Because I also think there's a there's a piece of this where when a guy says, Oh, I didn't want to tell you this because I was worried about your feelings and I didn't want to hurt your feelings, or I was really thinking about you. There is a little bit of an impulse there to kind of hear him say that and be like, Aw, he's thinking about me. He's so kind and caring, but don't fall for that. Because your response really should be, how fragile do you think I am? Right? It's like he's not giving you enough credit. Like he has to, he doesn't know you. He doesn't, you know, he's has to protect your delicate feelings. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. That's that's not a good okay. He does that completely in a separate context, not in the context of a lie or protecting a lie. Maybe that's a whole other thing, but to justify a lie, absolutely not. And so just be be wary of those kinds of explanations because it's like flipping it around a little bit on you in a way that you want to be really careful about. Um, because these guys, the the betrayal guys, they're crafty, right? The the fourth sign is that he's conditional with his conscience. And so, really, all that means this is a simple one. It's just like he's again flexible with the truth and he's flexible with his ethics. Basically, as long as he's got a justification to do the wrong thing, he will do the wrong thing, right? So he will, he's got no problem fudging a tax document because the system's unfair, right? He gossips about his best friend because they deserved it. He screws over a client just because that client was difficult. And it's like, okay, he's not a bad guy because he had a reason for that. No, no, no, those aren't good reasons, right? A high character guy, the only reason in life is like you'd be good to be good to people. Like, you don't, you know, I'm not conditionally nice to you. It's not that I'm ethical as long as long as you don't deserve otherwise. It's like, no, no, no. Like I'm gonna be ethical, I'm gonna be trustworthy, I'm gonna do the right thing because the right thing is what needs to be done. And so people who betray are usually conditionally loyal. As long as you're on good behavior, they'll be loyal. As long as you're a great girlfriend, he'll be honest with you and he won't cheat on you. It's like, no, no, no, that's not how good relationships work. I'm good to you because you're I respect you and you deserve someone who is good to you. Because I'm a good person, I'm gonna be good to other people. Like, that's what it actually looks like. And so it'll sound justified because you're gonna want to align yourself with him and be on his side because you're starting to catch feelings for this guy. So when he explains his like little ethical slip-ups, you're gonna be like, oh yeah, yeah, that makes that makes sense. But no, no, no. We want global integrity, we want the guy who is doing the right thing because that is the thing to do.

SPEAKER_00 25:11

You can justify any horrific action. It's incredible how many things you can just you can justify robbing a bank. No problem. I could I could have a pretty good argument on why it's okay to rob a bank.

SPEAKER_01 25:24

You want me to take a take a shot? I'm gonna challenge you on that one. No, I'm just gonna let that one go.

SPEAKER_00 25:31

You can justify anything with the right storyline, but is it of high integrity? No. Is it the right thing to do? No. And so we never judge someone's behavior uh character based on what they say. We judge it based on what they do. And more importantly, we truly judge someone's character based on what they do when someone's not watching.

unknown 25:55

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 25:55

That's a that's a core value here at Love Strategies, because we're a virtual company. And so just to put in like the workplace, there's a lot of things that people do when no one's watching. And it's really hard. You don't just track everything that people do. I don't believe in putting like tracking software on people's computers and things like that. But this is where someone displays really good character or really bad character. Luckily, love strategies are full of, as far as I'm aware, incredibly high character human beings. Like everyone here is amazing. Carrie, would you say the same? I don't know. I totally agree. Yeah. And it comes down to those little moments when no one's watching. When a client calls them and is like, hey, you know what? Like, I know it's late. I know uh, you know, you're you're probably doing something else, you're not working, but I just need some help with this one thing, with this guy. And they take the call and they spend 30 minutes with that client and they don't talk about it, they don't tell anyone about it, and then we hear about it from the client two months later. Like that to me is high character. And you would have never, you would have never known about it if the client hadn't said anything, and there's thousands of those actions. That's true character. It's not, you know, doing the wrong thing and lying about it and then justifying it later why it's the right thing to do. No, never. So that's how we want to be always thinking about character. And I love, Gary, how you've really focused our clients on finding a high character guy rather than focusing on, you know, what a lot of other dating coaches call them is high value men. I think it's very important.

unknown 27:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 27:26

I mean, there's nothing more valuable than character. And it actually focuses you right in on the right things because everybody wants to be, you want a good man, and that's that's a guy who's high character, which nicely segues into the last sign that a guy's gonna betray you, which is the passive betrayer. So guys are not gonna play the victim card. They're not, they don't like to seem like they're the victim. They don't like to seem like they're weak in that way. But if you pay attention to how a guy talks about events in his life, you will start to detect a certain level of passiveness. And so his language for transgressions is consistently passive, where he's not the subject of the sentence. So he's not, and it is really what this is is a subtle way to shirk responsibility. He won't say, I forgot to do blank, blank, blank. He'll say, the day got away from me. Okay, well, you're everybody has days. Like, come on, like take, okay. So the day got away from you. Like, okay, not I lied, but I didn't want to hurt you, right? We talked about that one earlier. It's like this is a subtle shift. And in many ways, he's blaming you, not for his lie. He's blaming you. Not I chose to blank blank blank, but I was in a situation where, and so again, it's not, even though he's saying I, he's focusing the situation as the culpable entity. Like that's the reason why this thing is happening. And so the betrayal follows very closely from that. So you're this is going to be the kind of guy who says, She came on to me. The alcohol made me do it. You pushed me to this. Because this kind of guy, he doesn't do anything, he is a victim of his circumstances, although he won't call himself a victim, but it's always this circumstantial evidence. And the scary part is he believes he's blameless. And so in psychology, we talk about this as locus of control. Some people have an internal locus of control, which is this just overwhelming sense like I am the person that takes action, I am in control of the situation. These kind of guys, these passive guys, they're very external locus of control. Well, the the external forces of the world, the environment, the people around me, they're all the reasons why I did this. And so those guys tend to react to situations with a what was I supposed to do? kind of mentality. And it's like, gosh, I don't know about you, Adam, but like that, what was I supposed to do? It just feels like the least masculine phrase on the planet.

unknown 30:02

Totally.

SPEAKER_00 30:03

I was I was talking to a buddy of mine recently who keeps getting pulled over, and he was like, dude, I think like there's just so much more, so much more policing going on right now. It's so annoying. Like they keep playing us over. And as a speeder, Gary, which I know you are, you probably will marry us. I wanted to be like, dude, how about the fact that you consistently drive 85 miles an hour? Like, let's just start there. Just don't speed. And he's like, No, no, no. I've always I've always been doing that, and it's been totally fine. It's like, so you've always been kind of breaking the law. Like, it's look, I I'll I'll go as you know, I'm a 7580 every once in a while type of guy. But if I get pulled over, I I can't play the victim card. Like, I'll just own it. Like, I'm sorry, I was freaking speeding, I shouldn't have.

SPEAKER_01 30:50

Uh, you know, yeah, no, it's it's actually like I have not gotten pulled over speeding for 10 years, maybe. But the last keep going. No, you just keep driving and up. I can't catch you. No, but it's like my I mean, my brother's a police officer, but it's like my thing consistently is always every time a police officer comes to the car, first thing I do is like, I'm sorry you had to pull out in the traffic to come after me. Right? It's like it's on me. Like you you take full responsibility because that's high character. It's not like the world's out to get me. What was I supposed to do? Look at, oh, like the circumstances of today's world make it impossible for me to blank, like, no, no, no, no, no, no. And again, very unmasculine, very not high character, not the kind of guy you want. And I think the kinds of men who are not willing to take responsibility for small things, don't take responsibility for big things. And that is exactly the kind of recipe that you're gonna have in place for betrayal, which you do.

SPEAKER_00 31:53

Yeah. So just as a take-home point, you really can't predict with certainty who is going to betray you. There are some people who truly will betray you and it you will not see it coming. There, there's a sliver of that. But in the majority of the time, the majority of the time, you can dramatically improve your odds by evaluating character throughout the entire process of getting to know someone, those small moments, those low-stake moments, and how he handles those moments, it's going to tell you so much about your future. So don't just look past those. Stop evaluating him step by step, whether he seems trustworthy. Start evaluat whether his behavior is structurally consistent with a person who would really remain trustworthy under pressure. Does he have high character? Yes or no? And for those who are listening and have found themselves constantly in the arms of low character men, low-value guys, guys who constantly portray your trust, who constantly who seem great the first three months, and then afterwards they start to pull away, they ghost, they just display these behaviors that you would just you despise, frankly. Well, then perhaps it's time for a new strategy in your love life. And that's what Gary and I and the rest of the Love Strategies team, that's what we do here, is we guide our clients step by step through this process we call the seven little love steps to help you every single step of the way make better decisions in your love life, to strategize, to take a step back for a moment if we start dating someone who's displaying some low character traits. And so if you really want some guidance and support in your love life and you've gotten some value from this conversation, then what I have for you here is to apply for a complimentary love strategy session. And on that session, you can speak with someone on my team who's going to dive deep into your patterns in your love life and as well as discuss the type of man and relationship you really want. And then we're going to map out a strategy that makes sense for you and how we're going to walk that path and find that person. So if that sounds good to you, head on over to loveapply.com. It's a secret little link there. You can jump ahead of the everyone else and schedule that love strategy session. So head on over to loveapply.com. Click the link in the description. Thank you so much, Gary. I appreciate your time. This was fantastic. And I will speak to all of you beautiful ladies very soon. All right. Bye-bye.